Ramen My Savor
by chocolate sage
Summary: Stripped and ensnarled by a fox a memory struck Naruto will relive the days he should have never been. To wake in the past without the knowelge of the future, while his mind lay in the mercy of time..missgiven indeed. TimeTravel Narutox?
1. Fire Country a Blaze

**I'm starting this side project. If you read it, reviews would be wonderful.**

**For those of you reading my first fiction Minds Balancing Point note that I haven't given it up I'm just revamping the chapters so there more fluid. This could take a long time, since I'm rewriting each one to smooth them out, but I'll update this in the mean time.**

**So without further ado may I present, ****R**amen** M**y **S**avor**!**

Key:

"Blah"- regular speak

"BLAH"**- **yelling

"**Bold", dark-angry/demonic**

"_Blah"-flashback thought_

(Settings)

**RMS- **inner story break

**RMS**

---_Brief overview:_

_Story starts at the conclusions of the fourth Shinobi war, Sasuke has backstabbed the Leaf after coming back from Sound after disposing his teacher. Sasuke has started his own hidden village on the underground remains of Sound that he calls the village of the Wind Mill in honor of his blood line. Submerged in a onesided war against four of the five major powers and rogue nin. Can Naruto stand up to this adversity this time without the help of the parished?_

**RMS**

Konoha looked bleak; its denizens littered the streets like maggots covering a dead flesh carcass. The Hokage Mountains faces half-fallen half-crumbled long since entrapped and murdered women and children escaping through the emergency tunnels.

The rookie nine had fallen one at a time picked off at the least opportune moments.

Hinata had since risen in ranks and gained the name of the Violet Fist, killed in action in a Suna, Iwa conspiracy against Konohagure along with Chouji and a pregnant Kurenai.

Kiba an elementally renowned tracker burnt alive in his own home. The irony, the beastly man known for his extraordinary senses intoxicated by the smell Ink and blood coating his bedroom paralyzed by the gift he prided himself the most in that inadvertently lead to his pre-cremation with his son of two years crying hysterically on daddy's chest wondering why daddy couldn't wake up.

Shino the head of the esteemed Aburame had made it into anbu before any of the others. Shino drowned in the rapids of River Country, betrayed by small army Ne agents posing as Anbu some of them included his own classmen.

Sai the estranged artist of the Konoha killed in a confrontation with Danzo, killed and dissected in cold blood after being caught overhearing a plot between Danzo and Orochimaru.

Shikamaru and Temari the greatest Tacticians of the Nations died arm in arm sharing deaths embrace, back stabbed by an enraged inebriated, bodily-possessed Kankuro and the legion of puppet users under the late Sansori's command.

Ino went M.I.A in an undercover mission in Kumo years ago; her head sent back to the Rokudaime in a cheap wooden box complete with a letter and live video recording of the things that haunted the Rokudaime to this very day.

Team Gai was, killed in a conjoined assault between the remnants of the Akastuki and Sound. Lee and Gai opened all eight gates a piece after Neji's death.

The Hyuuga was the first to die struck in his blind spot by a spider web like spear. Gai and Lee merciless thrashed all the sound Nin and exterminated three of the last five members of the Akastuki, youth to hell retribution the only thing on the minds of the beasts of Konohagure.

Though they bested the sound Nin, reinforcements that arrived from Kumo, took the tired green men from behind, and forced them to watch as each individual Kumo Nin and Kisame rape Tenten in turn.

Lee made a break for Tenten and broke Kisame's neck with a Konoha Senpu but then was too battered to protect himself any farther. In addition, Gai was too, chakra exhausted and physically worn to continue and an indifferent Pein put Lee away.

Gai now brittle with age at 62 could do nothing but shed his youthful tears and plead with his attackers to stop on hands and knee before he too was executed by bodily possessed, nude, cut covered Tenten.

Tenten according to Konoha's resources was lost in a prostitution slave ring in the underground.

Kakashi and Asuma died fending off the freshly unleashed Ichibi assault in the Suna Konoha conspiracy.

Gara of the Sand unable to keep command of his tenant[s] due to years of strain on his seal performed Seppuku disgraced with his actions and lack of will power when he retained control, taking his mad brother Kankuro with him to his sandy demise.

The Konohamaru corps died somewhere between a chain reaction of explosions and the biological ware instrumented by the now deceased Orochimaru long since killed by his protégé Sasuke.

The only thing left of the Konohamaru corps was the bloody beat-up trademark scarf of Konohamaru, loitered on the crater that once was the Ichiruka Ramen Stand.

A surprise and unforeseen nuking that had taken Ayame and old man Ichiruka with it.

Tsunade of the Sannin was killed in a drunken sleep in the midst of her office by a curse mark possessed Shizune, then Shizune by a anger induced Jiraiya. Shizune had received the curse mark from the snake himself after he snuck into Konoha one night and in attempt to put Jiraiya under his control with a perfected curse mark. Sadly for Shizune Orochimaru's spy's had given him the wrong directions.

Jiraiya died in an ambush against Pein of the red moon organization. The aged Sannin held his ground and pushed his ex-student to his limits matching Pein Ren'nigan with his Sage mode, had it not been for a surprised interference by Madara he might have come out with fresh oxygen to spare.

What remained of the clans was, exterminated in a terrorist bombing inside each individual clan home three hours before the Rokodaime's inauguration.

The only thing left only thing left was last three members of Team 7 and a child no older than ten…

--

(On top the crumbly remains of the Hokage Mountain)

"TEME"! The blood battered Rokudaime Hokage of Konohagure snarled.

Sasuke paid Naruto no mind converging, his attention to the package held nimbly in his right arm.

"GIVE HER BACK", Naruto shouted.

Sasuke eyed Naruto's changes and frowned. "Is that any way to greet a friend"?

Naruto's face turned a dry shade of red. "You lost the title of friend the day you took my eyes away". Naruto growled.

Sasuke's frown resonated. "If I recall correctly Naruto-kun it was **your **Sakura-chan that butchered your…'pretty blues', not I."

Naruto stared steely at Sasuke.

"After all I was the one kind enough to give you a new set, wasn't I"?

"Kind my blond ass you **abducted** me"!

Sasuke eyes twinkled darkly. "Abducted, drugged, experimented… all dust in the wind as far as I'm concerned".

Naruto looked taken aback. "You what"?

Sasuke placed the flat of his available hand over his mouth.

"Oops", Sasuke said with a chiding smirk.

Sasuke chuckled and waved his free hand at Naruto dismissively. "Guess I forgot you slept through that", the raven-haired ninja taunted.

Naruto formed fists. "You BASTARD", Naruto yelled charging the Uchiha head first in blind rage.

While Naruto rushed Sasuke red faced, Sasuke looked back towards the conscious bundle in his arms then looked to the incoming blond-Kage.

Sasuke predatorily smirked. "Think about what I'm holding Naruto", Sasuke called out to Naruto taking out his Chokutō on his right shoulder with his left hand placing it to the nozzle of the burlap bag in a clean motion.

Naruto stopped in his tracks tears threatened to escape his once cerulean now mismatched eyes…. Sai's eyes...

Naruto looked at the ground at his feet standing shoulder to shoulder with Sasuke.

"Why", Naruto muttered barely audible.

Sasuke stroked the bag in his arm and drew a stray whimper. "You brought this own yourself Naruto-kun".

Naruto raised his head to eye level with Sasuke. "What the fuck are you talking about bastard"?

Sasuke glowered albeit at Naruto. "Language Naruto, language have you know sense of decency … there are children present after all", Sasuke finished with a smirk placing his blade deeper into the bag. A small red blotch started to spread visibly outside the bag matching a bloodcurdling scream from within.

Naruto stepped back fear on his face. "STOP"! Naruto shouted to Sasuke.

Sasuke tightened his grip on his Chokutō. "Now why would I ever do that Naruto, enlighten me".

Naruto face reddened more noticeably. "STOP SCREWING WITH ME AND LET HER GO"!

Sasuke puffed his lips and remained silent.

A ninja with a Haiti adorning the Uchiha crest on the forehead protector appeared.

The brown mopped ugly scared Chunnin kneeled in front of Sasuke ignoring a slowing enraging Naruto.

"Lord Sasuke… mission accomplished". The Chunnin uttered. Sasuke smirked in satisfaction and dismissed his soldier who had then turned to face a now anxiety stuck Naruto.

Sasuke looked at Naruto in disgust. "Pathetic, you live so closely to your social attachments Naruto, it's left you weak."

Naruto didn't respond as he casted a mourning look into space. "Th-that w-was I-Iru…

Sasuke looked darkly at the bag in his arms. "Surprised Naruto? Surprised that one of your dearest companions would betray you again. You're too much like that fool Hiruzen for your own good".

Naruto didn't move nor reply just stared plainly at the bag in Sasuke's arms.

Sasuke started to redden at his inattentive audience.

"Now it's time that you make a decision Naruto, one last chance", Sasuke hissed into Naruto ear.

Sasuke took a couple of steps away from Naruto and roughly dropped the bag in his arms on the ground and untied it exposing a little blond blued girl no older than ten.

Sasuke pushed his shin into the back of the little one and pressed his blade onto the base of her neck. "Either you surrender all allegiance to Konohagure, and joined me as my vessel and I kill the thing you hold most dear. On the other hand, I beat you down and make you…. Well let's just say some of my troops have strange fetishes for ten year olds." Sasuke finished cackling darkly. "And then I kill her".

A lone tear caressed Naruto's cheek. Why", Naruto spluttered innocently.

"You can blame your fool counsel for that". Sasuke said chuckling.

Naruto didn't reply, only looked on at Sasuke in his face a mix of emotion, turmoil, regret and confusion being the most perceptible.

Sasuke looked at Naruto dumbly. "Okay dobe I guess I'll have to break it down for ya. I got what I wanted from the albino bastard. I put him away and now that I got what I wanted from Konoha… It's time to put Leaf away… for good this time"

Naruto bit his bottom lip. "But has the leaf ever done to you", Naruto asked choosing his words carefully.

Sasuke's eyes flashed red. "You Konoha fuckers took away my purpose, you took away what I strived for, and you made me forsake my clansman and destroyed my life's ambitions before my very eyes. You have made all the pain and suffering all the isolation and training I had to put myself go to waste."

Naruto eyed his daughter slowly. "Sasuke you didn't have to"….

Sasuke tighten his hold on the girl and pierced skin. "DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT I DID OR DIDN'T HAVE TO DO NARUTO. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE TRULY ALONE HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE EVERYTHING TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES WHILE YOU STAND IN LINE LIKE COWS FOR SLAUGHTER. WHERE ALL YOU CAN DO IS WATCH AND PLEAD, BEG AND DEGRADE YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN SELF PRESERVATION. SO DON'T YOU TELL ME THAT WHAT I DID WASN'T NECESSARY"!

Naruto face sobered up and he opened his mouth to speak.

Sasuke knew that Naruto was about to relate so he beat him to the punch. "SHUT THE FUCK UP JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP NARUTO. DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH? SURE, YOU THINK YOU HAD IT ROUGH. BUT DO YOU THINK I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE KYUUBI? I'VE KNOWN SINCE THE CHUNNIN EXAMS TWENTY FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO"!

The female in Sasuke's custody closed her eyes in freight and broke into a cold sweat. Her breath was labored, tears refreshed the tried saltwater stains over her cheeks washing streaks through the dirt and blood on her face.

Sasuke looked down calming down vaguely. "You claim to know where I come from and what I feel, the trauma, the drama… but you don't know shit Uzumaki. However, since seemed so hell bent on saying otherwise…. I'll introduce you first hand, to what I experienced that day.

Naruto glanced coolly at Sasuke for a moment then directed his attention back to his daughter.

Sasuke sighed 'emotionally'.

"But I digress". Sasuke pulled out an old fashion hand watch a dangled it in front of Naruto with his now free right hand. "Tic, Tock…Namikaze"

Naruto looked at Sasuke flabbergasted, "How the hell do you know about that", Naruto asked slowly never taking his eyes off eyes weeping daughter.

Sasuke tapped the sharp ends of the blade against the girls neck repeatedly drawing screams and blood, though the cuts were only paper thin.

"It took some digging on my part, but it was the only way to get Iwa and Kumo to work together with me". Sasuke looked at Naruto coldly. "Especially with all the animosity you started between our nations.

Naruto gave Sasuke a sad grin. "So that's how you did it, you took advantage of Iwa and Kumo's hate of my father to your advantage… you underhanded bastard", Naruto growled.

Sasuke clicked his tongue. "Now didn't we just have a chat about that vulgar Namikaze? I know for a fact you don't adhere to such idiom".

Sasuke got a solicitous look. "I think I'll do you a favor Naruto".

The blue-eyed girl gained a hopeful looked staring watery eyed at her father.

Sasuke smirked. "You know what they say Namikaze-kun… hear no evil… spe**ak no evil**", Sasuke finished with a dark incentive.

The girls blue eyes widened in freight and began to quiver.

Naruto was too late to catch onto the significance of the message the Uchiha had sent him, and paid for it through his only child.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH"!

"MIZU"! Naruto yelled distressed as he watched Sasuke lob off the ears of his little girl and reach slowly for her mouth.

Naruto grew three crimson chakra tails and attacked Sasuke mercilessly, self-salvation be damned.

Naruto threw a rocketed fist at Sasuke who caught off guard was flung into the ruble of the Hokage mountain from the strength of Naruto's punch.

Looking down into the rubble a tear stricken Naruto whispered, "Thank you oba-chan".

Naruto hurried to his daughter's side and whispered out comforting words to settle the stilled child.

Wait stilled?

Naruto checked on his bloodied daughter and ripped off the softer, cleaner undercoating of his battle armor to stop the excessive external bleeding, Mizu was losing pints of blood by the minute.

Mizu looked up a Naruto shakily.

"Ottosan"?

Naruto opened his eyes relieved that should wasn't in shock. "Hush now hon, save your strength."

Sasuke stirred under the rubble.

Mizu coughed violently and spat a glob of crimson blood onto Naruto's white Hokage robes. "Ottosan… I can see akkasan."

Naruto kissed Mizu's forehead.

"_Mizu_", Naruto whispered.

"Sh-she's waving hi… why is kaachan so cold oottosan", Mizu spoke incoherently.

Mizu started to choke on the liquid escaping her body.

"Damn it", Naruto cursed to himself his hands turned a potent dark green as he performed the only medical jutsu he knew to successfully un-clot Mizu's blocked esophagus.

Mizu looked on at Naruto blankly her skin paling, "I'm cold oottosan but its not windy… and the suns shining so bright (coughs)… why am I so cold oottosan"? Mizu finished with another violent hack.

Naruto started to cry openly, he was losing her and he knew it. "Do you see a light Mizu-chan"?

Mizu eyes started to lag. "Y-yes oottosan… it's so warm... but why is kaasan so cold"?

Naruto choked out a sob and moved the girls head onto his lap continually pressing into her wounds to stop the bleeding. "The light Mizu… go to the light", Naruto chided.

Mizu's eyes started to glaze. "But kaachan's her oottosan….she says she has to stay here. Why can't kaachan come to oottosan…I want kaasan to come… why kaasan's legs broken… the lights so… cold"

Naruto cried into the blood-matted scalp of Mizu as she to fell victim to another mad man's war.

A loud pop cut into the father daughter seen as Sasuke popped his dislocated and likely broken jaw into place.

"Cute", Sasuke said whilst dusting him off.

Naruto held Mizu closer. "Bastard", Naruto growled losing his foxy characteristics.

Sasuke looked amused. "Going to fight me without foxy-kun… how noble of you Naruto"

"Bastard", Naruto chanted again.

Sasuke smirked. "If you couldn't protect the village or your little hime from me even with the fox…. What makes you think you can now?

"**YOU FUCKING BASTARD"!**

**RMS**

And that's all she wrote!

**Akkasan/kaachan (ect) are different ways to say mom.**

**ootosan-dad**

**Mizu-purity**

This came to me while writing my other story, so many openings to proceed this chapter. I could turn this into anything from a time travel fic too a angry vindictive terroristic Naruto fiction or even both!

Hmmm liking the sound of the later but you never know. I'm writing this story on a wim so no set plots!

How often this is updating or if it is even updated depends on you guys, no promises with this fic. I'll update whenver an idea hits me and they hit paper while I revise my other story**.**

**All that's left is for you to review, hope you enjoyed yourselves! **


	2. The interference

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto so don't sue!

No reviews last chapter :( but I got some fav's so thats cool for a starting chapter for a rookie like me.

Show me you care and Review! ;)

* * *

--10minute skip—

(Forest area close to Naruto's old apartment)

Sasuke swiped out a handful of Kunai and shuriken. Shuriken in his left hand Sasuke threw five ninja stars at the legs of Naruto with three hidden inside of the shadow of the next, covering the exposed shuriken with a curt genjutsu and then throwing two Kunai over the genjutsu, covered stars. Sasuke waited.

Naruto twisted to his left and dodged the first set of Kunai that had zoomed ahead in front of the shuriken.

Batting out a pair of kunai himself Naruto intercepted the incoming shuriken veiled in the shadows but was unaware of the one floating inside of the genjutsu.

Naruto gritted his teeth and a let out a sharp breath as metallic stilettos dug into his thigh and winced as the hidden shuriken floated into his solar plex.

(A/N-The solar plex for those of you that don't know is a nerve cluster in the abdomen)

Sasuke smirked and tossed another kunai lazily into the air over a branch above Naruto with hang time holding onto some invisible wire to control the descent of the knife at a convenient yet convincing pace.

Naruto quickly yet tenderly pulled out the knives before it got distracting and more damage could be, done to let his healing factor kick in and while jumping caught the aerial dagger unaware of their near invisible attachments until the last moment.

Sasuke got a bored look and calmly called out "Katon: Cinder Wire Multiplication Jutsu".

Sasuke placed his available left hand in the tiger seal while he conducted a stream of katon chakra through the wire. As the chakra swooped through the wire, the cable started to branch off itself. Acting like living tentacles the sharpened ninja wire symbiotically swathed tightly around Naruto while it disheveled there other ends comfortably around each of Sasuke's fingers so he'd remain in command.

Sasuke ran mutely over to the preoccupied Naruto and daftly connected a savage waft with the blunted end of his special kunai at the scalp of Naruto with enough raw force to knock out a bull elephant.

Sasuke flung Naruto through the air and hit the blond-kage thought the thresh hold of his old apartment complex and crashed him through what used to be the ceiling.

Sasuke made a graceful entrance through the hole created by the battered Hokage and started to whistle a daunting tune.

_--_

_Author Note:_

_Keep in mind the story __**started at the eclipse of the fourth war**__. Konoha was and currently still is losing and LOST ALL of its COMPETENT SHINOBI. __**Naruto**__ as kage had to do most of the on battle field work due to lack of competent or broken in ninja and naturally hadn't gotten much rest so he's__** ragged from sleep deprivation and over stimulation **__along with stress at the losses and grievances, so he's anything but battle ready/fresh)_

--

Naruto recovered quickly as a sound pricked his ears, it sounded like a whistle. Naruto looked around saw a marshal Sasuke whistling.

Sasuke Uchiha never whistled, ever.

Naruto didn't take this as a good sign and decided to take cover to nurse his wounds from earlier on.

Before Sasuke entered Naruto hid behind a secret wall, he found in his youth to escape the once angry villagers.

Sasuke gave a broadened chasseur cat smirk.

"Come out come out where ever you are".

Sasuke charged some chakra into his left wrist and out poofed a kunai.

He twirled the kunai in his hands freely as though he were playing with a toy as he played catch with the weapon.

Naruto saw this as his chance to take him off guard and so he zoomed by Sasuke's shadow and took a position above the last (A/N *cough*) Uchiha's head.

Sasuke's grin threatened to split his face, he noticed Naruto root himself into the ceiling support attempting to escape through a trap door in his roof but he had planned this ahead of time accordingly.

Sasuke eyes flashed red as he placed his hands in the tiger seal.

"Katon: Blazing Humming Bird External attack", Sasuke whispered as he held the tiger seal just loud enough for Naruto to hear.

Sasuke spewed ten molten birds the size of a thumbnail at Naruto at a daunting pace. The ten birds of death flew at Naruto in a swirling ring of blazing inferno. The humming birds' temperate bill replaced by a horrid maw that spewed magmatic saliva catching everything its path aflame. Speeding up the crimson birds started to glow blackly as Sasuke moved his hands from the tiger seal and switched it with the hair seal that morphed the bird's figure into the deranged likeness of the Amateresu.

"Shit", Naruto muttered making a head first dive from the roof into the swarm of flaming projectiles much to the amusement to Sasuke.

Naruto drew some water from his old plumbing."Suton: Fox trick splatter", Naruto bellowed over the sounds of the razing flames as he created phantom fox tail water construct that appeared out of his lower spine. Naruto wrapped the tail around him and secured himself in his own little water bubble while he spun swiftly through the swarm, which also dispersed the birds with the hiss of its suddent condensation.

Sasuke frowned up to Naruto who recklessly dove at him and nimbly side stepped the blond water torrent without batting an eyelash.

Naruto couldn't stop having reached terminal velocity so quickly as per the techniques intentions and continued on his path directly into straggly wooden wall. The weakend wall broke easily untaken care of in the time he spent out of it, its old rotten walls unable to handle the pressure.

Sasuke looked down at Naruto as he crashed through his bathroom wall and clicked his tongue.

"If you're not going to take me seriously then I guess some persuasion is in order", Sasuke's tone sounded disappointed.

Naruto ricocheted off a suprising sturdy rubber contruction that was in his bathroom from his old pranking days and was flung back out through his make shift entrance out towards the roof that Sasuke forced him through previously.

Narut unwrapped himself from his water cacoon and canceled the technique. Naruto's during the duration of Naruto's hands on experience with Newton's third he grabbed the crack he made earlier in his ceiling. While this didn't stop him as he took out a chunk off the wood with him, it slowed him down enough to cover for a subtle landing.

Naruto landed onto a nearby tree and hopped back into his apartment using the Konoha Senpu to take Sasuke through the wall nailing the undeterred red-eyed man on his jaw.

Naruto's facial scars deepened and yelled out to Sasuke while he was midflight.

"Teme I don't know who the fucking hell you think you are to call this bullshit, I getting fucking tired of the shit you're spewing from that public shit hole that Kami fucking forbid you call a mouth damnit"!

Sasuke crashed heavily cracking through several oak trees taking the fight into the forest with bone breaking force breaking his dominate right arm.

Naruto eyes glowed ominously as he stalked Sasuke through the brush of the trees hopping silently towards him.

Sasuke regained his bearing and rolled over onto his side, flipped backwards planting his hands and stuck out his legs akin to a tripod while he ingrained his hands into the ground as he scooped up dirt to slow his rush leaving clawed streaks through the now broken earth.

Sasuke's glower lingered after he got over the worst of the blow.

"What did we say about language dobe", Sasuke spoke subtly as he spit out a glob of blood from his mouth and wiped away the remainders with his sleeve.

(Sasuke is wearing the same thing as in Shippuden and looks exactly; the same just add a jagged scar to the left of his face crossing from his left ear over his chin, and three silver streaks through his hair)

Naruto gave Sasuke a disapproving look and beat the side of Sasuke's face with the side of his hand with a bat like effect.

Naruto careened and splintered the Uchiha through another series of tree's by the guide of his knuckled fist.

Sasuke recovered the same way of before with the tripod effect and used chakra to stick to nearby tree before he bashed through it.

Naruto refused that denial and followed up with an eye popping kneeing smash to Sasuke's gut and then grabbed Sasuke's opposite arm with his right to turn him around stabbed the Uchiha with a shuriken, his kunai inventory spent.

While this stab didn't have the murderous affect a kunai would have Naruto managed twelve individual strikes breaking through Sasuke's rib's, puncturing a kidney and a single lunge before Sasuke managed to free himself.

Sasuke wheezed and dropped to a single knee gasping for breath.

"Lucky shot … dobe", Sasuke uttered in between coughs.

Naruto charged to finish the job as Sasuke spoke but was halted by an unexpected sudden flash of pink.

**RMS**

Short chapter, but most of them will be until the undecided plot unravels.

I'm looking for another beta to help me with this fic, my current one is occupied with my other story and I don't want to burden her with this one just yet.

**Authors Treat:**

**A friend of mine told me this joke and I felt that I had to share it with as many people as possible so her it is. The jokes clean but has dirty incentive[s]! **

_The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate _

_Father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to _

_Arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be _

_Here soon. " Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby _

_Photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale._

_"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."_

_"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in._

_"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a specialty of _

_Babies"_

_"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"_

_After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"_

_"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the _

_Couch and perhaps a couple on the bed Sometimes the living room floor is _

_Fun too; you can really spread out!"_

_"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"_

_"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we _

_Try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different _

_Angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"_

_"My, that's a lot of..." gasped Mrs. Smith._

_"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in _

_And out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure" _

_"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly._

_The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his _

_Baby pictures._

_"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"_

_"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief._

_"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their _

_Mother was so difficult to work with"_

_"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith._

_"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job _

_Done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get _

_a good look"_

_"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement._

_"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The _

_mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. _

_Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the _

_Squirrels began nibbling on my equipment; I just packed it all in."_

_Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your, _

_Um...equipment?"_

_"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we _

_Can get to work."_

_"Tripod?????"_

_"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for _

_me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... _

_Good Lord, she's __fainted!!"_

**Heh, well there ya go ****au ****revoir!**


	3. A Father's Rage

**Disclaimer: Cave man says, "Naruto own I don't"**

**Wonder how those bastard lawyers will twist those words around XD ~Remember to review!**

* * *

**RMS**

A kunoichi with a Haiti of a demon windmill shuriken slashed through a musical note; the insignia for the infamous Village hidden Windmills rambled through the clearing and intercepted Naruto's initial strike to Sasuke. She had managed to temporarily, halt Konoha's Rokudaime.

The kunoichi held her arm out straight open palmed towards Naruto.

"If you want to get to Sasuke-sama you'll have to get past me first", the redhead declared with authority.

Naruto chuckled lightly to himself and uttered the words "damn" under his breath as he gave the kunoichi an annoyed smile and chuckle.

"Have it your way hime", Naruto sighed irately without conviction.

Naruto jigged over the intruding figure above the pinkish red tresses of the presumptuous female flicking her off as he floated over.

The unspecified redhead fumed and blasphemed crossly as Naruto jumped over her without so, much as an extra forethought and tugged at her rope bind around her waist, in her frustration with Naruto's flagrant, disregard of herself.

"WHAT THE FUCK PRICK, GET YOUR FUCKING SCRAWNY ASS BACK OVER HERE YOU FUCKING COCK BLOWING BROWN NOSEN ANAL BLONDE BASTARD MOTHER FUCKER", her yell vulgarly hissed before she turned to calculate the blonds landing.

Naruto blushed mildly midflight while he rubbed his ears from the harpies' curses but trudged on undeterred adenine flowing strongly through his veins.

Sasuke in ghastly shape let out a pained groan of reprieve at Tayuya's onset; while she might not be much of a match for Naruto, he reckoned that with Naruto's natural dearth for genjutsu Tayuya might be able to procure him enough time for him to seize his second wind.

That or bait him enough time for his medics to locate him and square him up.

(A/N bet you thought it was Sakura ;)

These thoughts in mind Sasuke hastily pulled a chakra-replenishing pill (i.e. soldier pill) from his ninja pouch along his belt line and popped it into his mouth. Chewed it vigorously as Naruto approached.

Naruto Landed nimbly on all fours within three feet of Sasuke and dropped down to his back. While he fell he folded over onto his side during his short descend.

An erie flash of whiteblazed in Naruto's eyes whilst he delivered a bone shattering reverse heel kick at the base of Sasuke's neck just below collarbone homing in to the crevice of the raven-haired ninja's sternum breaking several ribs on contact attempting to get a lung or heart puncture wound.

Sasuke bounced and rolled across the ground, stopped abruptly as his spine made contact with another friendly tree.

Naruto stood up erect and walked towards Sasuke at an agonizing slow pace muttering curses towards him as he zoned in on Sasuke's position.

Naruto lifted Sasuke by his chest with the top of his foot up to eye level.

Sasuke held on nimbly while he tried to reach into his pouch to retrieve a weapon completely forgetting about the storage seal in his wrists.

Tayuya jumped overhead concealed in the brush and threw a series of senbon at Naruto's exposed back.

Naruto looked back annoyed and caught all fifteen needles in between his index and forefingers before crushing them in halves and flicked his wrist back to Tayuya sending back thirty, jagged senbon.

Tayuya flagrantly cursed as Naruto called out "Mass shadow senbon no jutsu", sending a hail of three thousand objects back to Tayuya from the original thirty.

Naruto looked up a rapidly dodging Tayuya in contemplation. "That'll hold her for a while", Naruto said then turned to Sasuke.

Naruto gave off a deep animalistic growl.

Naruto spoke with a dangerously calm tone.

"Teme… you've gone too far this time, this time you're not getting off with slight accessory damages", Naruto snarled at the end referring to the Valley of the End.

Sasuke finally reached his pouch and sneakily tried to stab Naruto in his throat.

Sasuke's face scrunched up and reddened, "DON'T LET YOUR GUARD DOWN DOBE"!

Naruto's eyes widened for a moment before he dispelled in a puff of smoke and reappeared behind Sasuke holding the Uchiha's arms in a dual chicken wing with the assistance of another clone.

Sasuke grunted in pain as he felt his arm pop. _"Damnit, if my arms give I'm through_", Sasuke thought to himself as his mind raged and clanked through his massive, underused jutsu repertoire.

Naruto adjusted Sasuke so that his foot was once again balancing Sasuke's chest while his bushin restrained his arms.

Sasuke visibly smirked unnoticed to Naruto. His face faced opposite to the blondes and briefly managed to place his hands in the reverse hebi seal a cough out the name of a jutsu unintelligibly before the clone bashed his arms to unhook the seal unaware of the fact that the deed had already done.

--

A small flare jetted up into the air, and a poof of smoke appeared at the base of a tree six hundred meters from Naruto.

Sasuke sighed tiredly as he sat to lick his wounds.

--

With a little extra oomph, Naruto kicked _Sasuke_ about two and a half feet up into the air. Prior to subsequently kneeing each of his leg joints in turn into Sasuke's rib cage in turn robotically without remorse, every time the Uchiha plummeted back down to earth Naruto kicked him harder and higher before catching him with his knee and restarting the cycle.

(If you need a stronger visual, picture someone juggling a soccer ball alternating between their knees, then replace the ball with Sasuke)

Naruto's thoughts only focused on causing Sasuke the most amount of pain a sane man could deliver.

Tayuya bit her lip deciding whether it was worth helping Sasuke. The man might be the kage of her village but would not hesitate to put her life on the line for his own personal ambitions as he had proven repeatedly.

She knew that if she helped she would neither be rewarded nor punished but the possibility of death exponentially increased now with Naruto than out on the battle field where the pawns where set ready for their conquest.

No one ever wanted to be a kage's direct focus without back-up, and if Sasuke ever picked something from Orochimaru it was how to make a tactical recoil the cost of self-perpetuation whatever got him in and out the fastest and most intact.

Giving up a couple of nameless shinobi was not something above either Rice country shadow.

If only she knew...

--

Sasuke coughed violently as Naruto finally let his body hit the ground and gave Tayuya a negative frown from her lack of assistance and sign of hesitation.

Sasuke placed his hands into the hebi seal and barley managed to speak out "Forbidden Arts: Curse Mark Possession jutsu" as Naruto pelted him into a tree with the ball of his foot.

Tayuya's face scrunched up in pain and abruptly fell to one knee and grasped onto the base of her neck in terror.

The Curse Mark Possession Jutsu is the perfected version of the original curse mark technique. While Orochimaru had focused on using it to acquire bodies and inflict pain on un-loyal troop. Sasuke used it to control his Nin's train of thoughts down to the last bodily function so secure eternal loyalty.

--

Sasuke let out an unvoiced yell as he felt his ribs crackle and churn within himself from the power of Naruto's punt at his chest.

Sasuke panted heavily then painfully turned his face to Naruto.

Sasuke turned his head albeit more so he still faced Naruto but could spot Tayuya beside him at the corner of his peripheral.

Sasuke panted. "Naruto (*pant*), want me to let you (*pant*) in on a little secret (*clutches chest*)", Sasuke asked slowly to buy some time.

Naruto stopped his arm mid throw as he was about to unleash a hail of shuriken on the frail Uchiha.

A foolish mistake, that Naruto would soon regret.

Naruto got a somewhat curious look on his face. "What are you talking about teme"?

Sasuke wheezed out another globe of blood and strongly clutched his throbbing chest as he tried to hide the pain scarring its presence onto his face.

Beads of sweat rolled down Sasuke as he smirked. "Look behind you".

Naruto frowned at Sasuke. "Nice try bastard", Naruto spoke as he tried to unleash a kunai he had pick pocketed from Sasuke between battering the vindictive ninja's chest to dust thinking wiser to save his shuriken.

Key word there _tried_.

As Naruto went to throw his stolen Kunai, the hand of a Doki caught his arm

(Can't really describe these guys)

The burly hand pulled Naruto's arm towards itself, swung at Naruto repeatedly, and landed six hits the base of Naruto's neck before the blonde kage even knew what hit him.

Naruto stood up groggily his head spinning from exhaustion and blocked a high double upper cut from another Doki.

Naruto grabbed both arms of the second Doki after its fists momentum stopped and then reached over with his right hand. The Doki faced his left. Naruto twisted himself over the Uni's outstretched arms kicking it with the flat of the top of his foot square in the base of his neck.

"Take that ya cheap shot bastard"! Naruto swore as he made contact with the things neck expecting to her the snap of a broken neck.

The Doki stood unfazed.

Naruto stood back up straight and sent chakra infused punches at the first Doki with his knuckles repeatedly in its ear.

The Doki stood unfazed.

"What the fuck"? Naruto garbled as he took out a kunai and thrusted it into the things jugular area.

The Doki seemed to tingle as Naruto neared and blindly lashed out and nailed Naruto in his stomach.

Naruto's eyes widened as he spit out a gobbet mixture of creamy saliva and draped liquid crimson.

Tayuya appeared behind Naruto in her curse-marked glory and blasted Naruto in the back with a high C note on her flute. Taking advantage of the kage's sensitive hearing.

Naruto fell down to his knee's grasping his ears as blood flowed freely from his inner ear as another Doki pulled out what looked like a club and prepared to ram it down onto his spine.

**

* * *

****RMS**

**Thanks for reading let me know what you think. I realize the chapters a little confusing but it'll make more sense next update so until then feel free to ask all the questions you like!**

**F.Y.I. all updates for all my fic' s will be sporadic from here on out, any update that doesn't come in within the two week differential I'm working for will be extended (i.e. 3k-5k) to compensate. So be warned I'm a lazy perfectionist with access to the internet and I'm not afraid to use it!**

**Q&A**

**Q: A reader asked for the name of Naruto's mom in so many words.**

**A: I'll give you a hint, I never said she died *laughs evily*.**

**THE REVIEW BUTTON IS MY FRIEND AND WANT TO BE YOURS TO!**


	4. A Foxes Intervention

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

A/N-Explanation at the bottom

* * *

**RMS**

Naruto fell down to his knees and grasped his ears as blood flowing freely from his inner ear as another Doki pulled out what looked like a spiked club from his back and prepared to ram it down onto his spine.

Naruto's visions hazed his adrenaline rush gone and sapped was his energy from preceding encounters throughout the days.

_Sasuke_ stood up and coughed up another glob of blood while still clutching his chest and released Tayuya's seal as the Doki's club began to drop, canceling the fender-bender like collision that surly would have insured.

Tayuya's face reddened at Sasuke's interference and started to curse in silence.

"Any last words dobe", Sasuke solicited.

Naruto began to augment off the ground until a white garbed Doki brought a muscled foot downward onto his back roughly, causing Naruto's cranium to bang back into the soil with a bone-breaking thud.

Naruto coughed into the dirt and raised his chin off the ground to face Sasuke. "Like your one to talk teme". Naruto chuckled. "You're in worse shape than I am".

Sasuke grinned enigmatically as the blood he shed and spat throughout their tussle began to accumulate in a crimson chime around him, visibly rejuvenating Sasuke.

Naruto tensed up in astonishment. "What the fuck are you"?

Sasuke laughed as his once collapsed and dented ribcage popped and crackled into place.

Tayuya pale skinned, turned her head away from Sasuke and sat in the nearby shade to wait for further instructions to recuperate from her seal abuse.

Sasuke started to tear up from laughter. "Haven't figured it out yet Naruto-_kun", _Sasuke teased whilst wiping away a stray tear.

Naruto tried to open his mouth to speak but a particularly viscous oni cut him off with a sharp kick to his torso.

Sasuke walked closer to Naruto and tapped his chin with his pointer finger as he went. "I'm not really here baka", Sasuke said slowly as he took out his blade from his shoulder.

Naruto lowered his head sideway flat against the ground to relax his neck muscles. "Explain", Naruto uttered to buy time.

Sasuke smirked darkly whilst he stroked the edge of his blade around Naruto's scalp. Sasuke chuckled hollowly. "I guess I'll humor you, after all with you gone there won't be very much to amuse me".

"_Cocky bastard"_, thought Naruto and Tayuya in unison.

Sasuke stabbed the tip of his blade an inch into Naruto's shoulder in thought.

Naruto gritted his teeth.

Sasuke poked a Doki in the eye signaling Tayuya to disperse Naruto's restraint.

Tayuya complied the order and dismissed her chakra summon.

"It was simple Naruto, rather ingenious actually", Sasuke started.

"But I suppose I can't really take all the credit, after all it was your dimwit father and greedy council that made this all possible".

Naruto tensed and growled in his throat for a split second at the insult at his father.

Sasuke puckered browed. "What's wrong did I strike a nerve by any chance", Sasuke asked loosely in response to Naruto's growl.

Sasuke scowled at Naruto. "Well too fucking bad, be a good dog and suck it up it's the adults turn to talk _boy_".

Naruto gave Sasuke a murderous glare but silenced himself.

Sasuke straightened his face out. "That's better, Now back on subject, do the words blood clone mean anything to you", Sasuke continued.

The blade in Sasuke's hand disinagrated from it's once sheen metallic like form into a messy red goop.

Naruto's eyes boggled in realization. "You conniving bastard".

Sasuke nodded once and hardened his face. "But I ramble". Sasuke said restoring his blade.

Naruto's eye's settled and shut as the blade made it's concentrated run to his neck.

Sasuke eye's gained crazed swirls as Sasuke activated his family inheritance.

"**NIGHT NIGHT HOKAGE-SAMA**", the fake Sasuke spat in demented reprisal as he brought damn his fake Chokutō onto Naruto.

Naruto shut his eyes in regret, his was chakra exhausted and long since spent and so awaited his judgment with a calm tear struck visage.

**GGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!**

**RMS**

* * *

The chapter was short but I have a valid reason (hopefully I cleared up some of that Sasuke confusion)! This is the transitioning chapter where I decide whether this turns in a time travel fic or a cross over fiction.

Now I have a couple of ideas in mind but I would like to get some of your input as well.

So what will it be a cross over, time travel or what?

Personally, I am thinking time travel, but how far back into the past dare I venture?

Cross over options (A/N)=

DBZ- Naruto [still mostly human] (a lot of them are half assed (spelling wise) and don't take place in the DBZ universe)

Blood +- Naruto chavalier (I've never read a Naruto cross over with this one before)

(Just throw me a bone)

Time travel options I'm thinking=

Day of Genin/Chunnin Exam

Day of Naruto's birth

Konoha's founding

Battle of the end fight between the Shodaime and Madara [I'm pulling towards this one for originalities sake]

(Just throw me one).

Till Next time

(I'll update with or without reader consensus so don't feel pressured)

C.S

P.S. If you have, any questions ask

(F.Y.I the mother debate is off Naruto's daughter not Naruto himself, thought I could deviate from Kushina as well ;)


	5. Fate's Roll of the Dice

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. This disclaimer business is starting to bum me out…

**RMS**

_Naruto's eyes settled as the blade made its concentrated run to his neck._

_Sasuke eye's gained crazed swirls as he activated his family inheritance. "__**NIGHT, NIGHT HOKAGE-SAMA**__", the fake Sasuke spat in demented reprisal as he brought down his fake Chokutō onto Naruto._

_Naruto shut his eyes in regret, his was chakra exhausted and long since spent and so awaited his judgment with a calm tear struck visage._

_**GGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**_

**--**

(Mindscape)

Naruto slowly opened his eyes, carful to lift his head out of the sewer like water's it lay.

Naruto looked around his mini sewer and found an eyeful of iron and crimson. "Even in death you won't leave me be", Naruto grumbled as he plopped his head back into his mental sewage.

A large blood red slitted eye blinked open and focused its' gazed lazily down upon Naruto**. "GAAAKKKIIII",** thundered the Kyuubi again.

Naruto submerged himself and rolled over in the knee-deep stench free liquid then looked up at the gigantic red furred fox through the clear green fluids with a petered demeanor.

The fox rammed a massive paw into the gate actually causing a bend in its weakening cell. "**GAKI, DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME", **rumbled the kitsune its nine tails swooshing behind him exhaling a molten breath enclosed on Naruto arm, slightly searing his clothing from its radiant heat.

Naruto scratched his partially scorched arm taking it like a mosquito bite oblivious to the slight cell preach looked on at the Kyuubi through in irritation.

Naruto made blew out bubbly sigh through the mystery fluid and elevated his head briefly, "Kyuubi-kun…. You need a mint". With that said Naruto laid his head back down in, relinquish.

The fox's lone visible eye tightened into a glare.** "DAMN IT FLESH-BAG! KNOW YOUR PLACE! ANSWER ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU", **the Kyuubi bellowed whilst using its chakra to temporally drain the sound block between the two.

Naruto slowly kneeled himself into a half seated position, both of his arms supporting his back behind him. "It was fun while it lasted huh, kitsune-baka", Naruto inquired feeling nostalgic. "Remember the memorial that, my bastard ex-academy sensei of mine made me clean off? How about the time I had my first mission with team seven, damn that Kakashi and his ass rape jutsu. Naruto said and gave a conjoined shiver and chuckle, lost in his memories as his life flashed before him on a mental projector.

Naruto curled his left pinky around his left lobe. "Swear I lost my virginity that day.""Then the time….

Kyuubi slammed his left front paw next to Naruto's head. **"SHUT UP YOU SNIVELLING BAKA! I DIDN'T SUMMON YOU TO MY SHITTY DOMAIN FOR YOU TO SULK OR FATASIZE ABOUT YOUR PEDOPHILIC EXPERIENCES",** the Kyuubi yelled angrily with a slight chortle.

Naruto tensed up in shock. "WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET LOOSE", Naruto hollered as he felt the fur of the foxes mane brush the side of his head.

The gargantuan fox chuckled. **"FOR A SEAL MASTER, YOU SURE ARE IGNORANT, WELP". **The fox humbled himself and gaze Naruto a slightly annoyed look from the offensive body language he received in return.

Naruto jetted up erectly. Albeit slowly at first but as soon as he got to his feet, each of his hands to glow a different color, red, blue, white, yellow, and brown.

The fox gifted Naruto, with one of his rare amused grins. **"IF YOU HAD ALL THIS ENERGY LEFT BAKA WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GIVE UP"!**

Naruto ignored the fox and brushed his left thumb against his nose while he rushed the fox's cage with his right hand held as though it was clawed."Five prong seal"! Naruto called out while he swooped by the fox in hot pursuit of the slowly shredding and melting paper seal that held kyuubi in his containment.

The fox shifted his amused grin to an upset feral smirk and caught him by the tips of its tail. Naruto stopped abruptly and gasped for air as he felt a sudden bind contradicting him in midair. ,** "NOW GAKI IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER I'D SAY YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME"! **Exclaimed the fox whilst its' maw dripped saliva due to the proximity between himself and Naruto. Naruto struggled within his restraints with an unusually strong vigor, activating one of the seals extra fail safes that he and the late Jiraiya installed.

"**YOU KNOW GAKI; I HAVEN'T HAD FRESH MEAT IN DECADES"! **

Naruto started to brace and cloak himself with the nine tails chakra in attempt of sterilizing the kitsune, but astonishingly stopped with a messy lick from the Kyuubi's massive tongue.

The Kyuubi mumbles something about butter and lack of texture, and a hankering for wasabi. **"NOT SO FAST SHIT STAIN, I'LL BE BLESSED AND REPENT BEFORE I LET YOU TIE ME DOWN TO MY OWN GRAVE"!**

Naruto lowered his head. "Wow". Naruto sighed whilst he relaxed his hand and cancelled his sealing jutsu. "I fail my village as a leader". Naruto covered his right hand over his right eye in grief. "And now I've failed my lineage as a keeper". He let out a hard sigh. This day keeps getting better and better", Naruto finished with a slight huff.

The kitsune moved the tail that contained Naruto closer to its eye. **"BUTTERING ME UP WILL GET YOU NO WHERE"**, the fox grumbled with a hint of a titter at his own little joke to himself.

Naruto looked back up at the fox with a mildly confused look on his face. Sensing Naruto's confusion the kitsune quickly held a mental debate and then responded to Naruto's physical inquires. The fox flatten its ears. Then settled its lethargic grin to a more neutral expression and laid down its tails against the ground, whereas faintly loosening its firm hold on Naruto, to less astringent position.

"**SPEAK YOUR MIND", **The Kyuubi spoke in a deceptively gentle tone.

"Why haven't you killed me yet", Naruto asked in a hushed whisper.

The kitsune's ears stood up to attention as it wildly thrashed its tails in mock laughter. **"ABOUT FUCKING TIME THAT SHRIVELED UP MIND CAUGHT UP WITH YOU BOY"! **The fox yelled and quirking its eyes pulling a complete 180 on its once sobered ego.

"**TELL ME WEPL DO YOU RECALL THE FIRST MENTIONINGS AND COMMITMENT I MADE TO YOU"?**

Naruto squinted and rubbed his forehead. "I said you'd eat me or something to that affect".

"**CORRECT"!** Kyuubi called out with a disturbing glee

"**NOW CAN YOU SEE WHERE MY PROMISE HAS BEEN COMPRIMISED"?**

Naruto gave the Kyuubi an estranged grin. "Is it because I'm going to die, and you're going with me bastard"?

"**WRONG"!**

Naruto gave the fox a befuddled glance.

The Kyuubi redoubled his grip on Naruto increasingly tightening the hold. Naruto started to turn blue.

"**THIS PAIN IN THE ASS SEAL FAULTED LONG AGO, THAT'S NOT THE ORIGIN OF MY HUNGER PANGS"**, the fox retorted nonchalantly.

"**YOUR FATHER WASN'T KIND WHEN HE MADE THIS SEAL; THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO ESCAPE AS HE HAD SO JUSTLY PLANNED WAS BY EITHER YOUR LACK OF WILL POWER CONCLUDING MY RELEASE. THEN THERE WAS THE OPTION OF IF YOU WHERE EVER PUT INTO A SITUATION OF EXTREME EMOTIONAL REALESE CONFUSION DISTORTION LIKE NOW FOR INSTANCE, BUT EVEN THAT HOLE WAS PLUGGED WITH THAT DAMN SEAL THAT FUCKING TOAD ROT. THAT WAS TWENTY LONG YEARS AGO JAILOR-BAKA. SINCE THEN I MANAGED TO ESCALADE CERTAIN EFFECTS AND TINKER WITH YOUR INSIDES USING THE FREEDOMS YOU UNDELIBERATLY GAVE ME WHEN YOU SHACKLED ME TO THIS FENCING BEHIND THOSE BARBARIC BARS.**

Kyuubi rotated his tail lazily spinning Naruto in its grip.

**WHILE I WAS TINKERING WITH YOUR ORGANS AND DNA DURING THOSE SIX HOURS YOU WERE ATTEMTING TO PLACE THE SEALS I MADE ORAGIZED AND PLANNED CHANGES, BUT I MISS CALCULATED.**

Naruto turned his head in curious confusion. "You do realize that this seal has a fail-safe, don't you."

"**YES, I DO BAKA, I KNOW MORE ABOUT YOUR DAMN BODY THEN YOU DO. NOW SHUT THE HELL UP WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT DAMNIT"!**

Naruto buttoned his lip. Personally, he preferred to die with this big red fox as company to the badgering, taunting red eyes of the Uchiha and his accomplices hoard of fucking impenetrable summons.

"**WHILE I PLAYED DOCTOR WITH YOUR INNER SELF, MY DAMNABLY PERFECT TAIL SCREWED UP YOUR HALF-ASSELY DRAWN KANJI REVOKING MY CHANGES…."**

**OR SO I THOUGHT, IT TURNED OUT I DID MAKE THE CHANGES HOWEVER SINCE I WASN'T AWARE OF THIS UNTIL RECENTLY I DIDN'T CAPATALIZE AT THE OPPORTUNE MOMENT I HAD PLANNED OUT, THIS LOST INFORMATION WILL RESULT IN MY OWN SELF DESTRUCTION TWELVE YEARS FROM TODAY.**

Naruto gave the Kyuubi a knowing smile. "So you couldn't overcome my defenses after all".

The fox continued, ignoring Naruto's statement and laid the tail that held Naruto over the bridge of his nose.

"**TO RETIFY THIS I GIVE YOU THIS PROPOSAL, MIND YOU, THIS IS NOT FREE THOUGH IT IS MORE FAVORABLE FOR ME, YOU… NOT QUIET SO MUCH FOR YOU AS IT IS FOR ME." **

The kitsune paused shortly, to place Naruto gently on the bridge of its snout and positioned one of its transparent crimson chakra tails to separate its vulnerable pupil from Naruto.

"**KAMI OF TIME OWES ME A COUPLE FAVORS, IN EXCHANGE FOR SELECT THINGS IN YOUR POSSESION; I WILL GET YOU TRANSPORT OF TIME, SAVING YOUR PERTRID LIFE SO THAT YOU MAY SEEK ANOTHER BREATH."**

"**MIND YOU, WE WILL MEET AGAIN, AND WHEN WE DO…."**

Naruto gave the fox a hard stare. "Now why the fuck would I agree to this, beside you haven't even told be both halves of your damn agreement."

"**GAKI, YOU DON'T GET IT DO YOU"?"WHETHER YOU AGREE OR NOT MY BODY WILL EVENTUALLY BE RECONSTRUCTED AND I'LL ROAM FREELY ONCE MORE".**

Naruto's eyes widened and squinted. "Then why the fuck, are you making this deal with me, no don't tell me a YOU'LL MISS ME"! Naruto yelled out whilst chibi Naruto gave chibi Kyuubi a bone shattering hung before shoving a blunted spoon into the chibi canines ear.

Kyuubi growled. **"DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF MORTAL; WHILE I MAY REGAIN A BODY I REFUSE TO SPEND THE REST OF ENTERNITY IN THE BODY OF AN EMBICILE WITH AN OVERSIZEDS TARGET ON HIS CHEST"!**

Naruto got loopy eyed. "NOOOOOO"! "Now way I'm letting you ruin my reputation with you damn mean streaks kitsune-teme"!

"_**BAKA, YOU DON'T HAVE A REPUTATION". **_The fox thought to himself.

"**THEN HAVE WE REACHED AN AGREEMENT"?**

Naruto sobered down. "Well I get to see them again"?

The kitsune grunted an affirmative.

Naruto brightened up slightly. "Will Mizu-chan be alive again, and granny and the old teme I love to hate"?

Kyuubi rolled its eyes and grunted another yes, this one more strained. _**"NOT LIKE YOU'LL REMEMBER THEM ANYWAYS…"**_

Naruto spirited up his classic foxy grin splitting his face open. "LET'S DO THIS"! Naruto yelled with a loud YATTA at the beginning in reminiscent of his childhood.

"**IS THIS YOUR FINAL ANSWER"? **The fox asked with a leachy grin.

Naruto puffed his chest and wiped away stray tears that were mucking up his face. "I SAID YES DAMNIT"!

Kyuubi let out a monotonous cackle. **"ANY PREFERENCES TO YOUR LITTLE DESTINATION"**

Naruto stayed silent for a time. "I want to…

"**TO FUCKING LATE BITCH YA SHOULD HAVE READ THE FINE PRINT"! **The Kyuubi called whilst it conjured out a large contract as thick as sixteen dictionaries.

The fox roared as Naruto crammed himself in disbelief. Kyuubi took no notice and slashed a greenish brown chakra infused tail into Naruto's skull sending a coursing rage of electrical currents through the kage that showed visibly through the outside. Small shockwaves and fissures erupted in Naruto's mindscape as the fox's cage disappeared in a maniac typhoon of watery chakra.

The last thing Naruto saw was the nasty grin of a thief and then all was numb….

**--RMS--**

The chapter was a bit rushed but there was I lot I didn't want to give away just yet. I've decided not to go with the crossovers, mainly because I don't feel I have enough experience writing to sink my teeth into such a thing. I don't want to butcher my story or any of the anime participants.

I'll be holding a pairing poll for Naruto; I fixed things so that you wouldn't know if his wife was living or dead for this little snag. This fic isn't a straightforward time travel as there will be a couple of hops and skips going back and forth between time lines.

_Note: this will only influence my actual decision_

Poll:

Ino

Sakura

Princess Yuki

Hinata (If you give me a reason to go with this, I don't want to join the Hinata abuser club without good merit)

Fem. Haku

Yuugito

Anko (This could work without the age issue with the travel skips)

Kurenai (same as above)

Tenten

(Throw me one)

**Hope you enjoyed yourselves once more!**

**C.S**


	6. Snake eyes

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but I once dreamed that I owed a magical talking, chocolate monkey (Damn thing bit me)!

-This my first official start to a time travel fiction, tell me what you think and be brutally honest, if something should be changed/corrected yell it in my ear!

**RMS**

_The fox roared as Naruto crammed himself in disbelief. Kyuubi took no notice and slashed a greenish brown chakra infused tail into Naruto's skull sending a coursing rage of electrical currents through the kage that showed visibly through the outside._

_Small shockwaves and fissures erupted in Naruto's mindscape as the fox's cage disappeared in a maniac typhoon of watery chakra._

_The last thing Naruto saw was the nasty grin of a thief and then all was numb…._

_--_

(Random forest in Konohagure)

Naruto laid belly down, conscious on the ground with a confused look adorned. "Ouch", Naruto grunted his eyes reopening to the world again whilst he held tightly to his throbbing skull and rolling onto his side. "I feel like I got hit in the face with a chidori", Naruto spoke to himself clenching tighter to his stomach this time as a steamy hoard of red mist extruded from his back, unnoticed to the blond in question.

--

_Flash back_

(Naruto's conscious)

_The great fox lord bowed his head. _

_A medium sized looking man with an enflamed holy appendage showed from his lower spine, draped from head to toe in a murky brown cloak spoke. "__**MY PRICE FOR MY SERVICE KYUUBI-SAN, DID YOU GATHER?"**_

"_**HAI",**__ barked the kitsune in reply. _

_The form made a slight adjustment to its cloak exposing ominous, crackling sandy brown eyes. "__**HAND IT TO ME", **__the figure announced loudly almost greedily, his arm fully extended with his palms open in a giving gesture its voice echoed darkly throughout empty space._

_Kyuubi raised its head.__**" THE MEMORY OF THE PAST AS PER YOUR REQUEST, BUT IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING WHY WOULD YOU NEED SUCH A THING AS THE KNOWLEDGE OF THESE INFERIOR BEINGS?" **__The fox asked in morbid curiosity._

_A shifty earthen staff erupted from dust particles accumulated from the non-existent air of Naruto's mindscape into the open palms of the figure horizontally. __**"IT IS BEST NOT TO JUDGE THAT WHICH KAMI FAVORS KYUUBI-SAN, YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS BY NOW. FOR THE RECOLLECTION COROLLARY, IT IS NOT TOLERABLE AND WOULD BE HIGHLY IRRESPONSIBLE FOR ME TO ALLOW SUCH KNOWLEDGE OF THE FUTURE SENT TO THE PRECEDENT. THE FUTUR TWAS NOT MADE TO BE SO EFFORTLESSLY ENVISAGED, I HAVE SORTED THROUGH AND TOILED DEMONICALLY TO CREAT THE INDIVIDUALLY SANCTIONED FATES OF SOCIETY FOR THE GREAT CLENSING, ITS BAD ENOUGH THE HUMAN WELL RETAIN HIS FORMER ABILITY! I WILL NOT ALLOW A MORTAL MORE PREVILAGE!"**_

_The brown-cloaked figure expanded in sized to the point Kyuubi was the size of one of the garbed figures pinky nails. "__**NOW HAND ME THE BOY'S MEMORY!"**_

"_**BEFORE I DO, WE HAVE REACHED AN ACTUAL UNDERSTANDING THIS TIME RIGHT. I MEAN YOU WON'T SCREW ME OVER LIKE, YOU DID THE SAMBI WILL YOU?**_

_The garbed one completely exposed a graining looking eye that extruded sand from its pupils with a jerk of its neck that knocked back more of its hood._

"_**HAND IT TO ME, YOU HAVE ASKED ENOUGH QUESTION YOU DAMNABLE FOX!"**_

_The fox swallowed hard and gave the cloaked figure a sheepish grin. __**"YOU'LL HAVE TO GET THAT FROM THE BOY HIMSELF THE BLASTED SEAL EVEN WHEN VIRTUALLY SHREDDED TO BITS STILL RESTRICTS ME FROM SUCH ACTIONS, BESIDES KAMI'S CAN'T CURSE!**_

_The brown clad-person was not amused and showed it cruelly by shattering one of the foxes' nine tails like brittle glass dropped on pavement gaining an aggrieved yelp from the kitsune while said extremity immediately began to re-grow. _

"_**HAND IT TO ME OR I'LL PUT IN A NOTE TO THE HEAD AND HAVE YOU THROWN THROUGH THE BAD BURNER AND REENCARNATED AS MOLESTED ANT!"**__, Barked the aggressive figure briefly exhibiting a flushed red cheek._

_Kyuubi got a thoughtfully dark look.__** "ARE YOU DRUNK MATE" **__the kitsune asked in a australlian accent jokely whereas his snarky grin glistened in the imaginary lights of Naruto's mindscape like light refracting off colored prisms onto a blank coin whilst mentally thinking "black mail" to himself. _

The brown-cloaked deity hiccupped. _**"HAND IT TO ME *hicup*"!**_

_Kyuubi schooled it's already unreadable face and swatted a tail at the deity's cloak exposing two rosy cheeks and a bottle of scotch._

**"A HAH, I KNEW YOU WERE HOLDING OUT ON ME YOU SANDY BASTARD"!**

_ Then the deity reimbursed himself with the confiscation of eight of the foxes' tails, weaning the fox from its potent standing of nine to a puny semi-half._

_Kyuubi licked its tender tail nubs to settle the stinging, __**"TOUCHY BASTARD" **__the Fox growl._

_Flashback end--_

Naruto vomited a spray of chunky, fur like liquid in exceptional amounts repeatedly on the ground in front of him.

Naruto swiped some of the gunk on his mouth off his face with the side of his pointer finger."Am I bleeding"?

The questionable fluids escaping Naruto's maw had a bitter coppery taste that rivaled blood, but the stout furry texture he felt in his mouth with the likeness of some absurd mishmash of tree moss, rusty tin cans and half-dried bird shit that spoke differently.

Naruto's face paled generously. "What the fuck is happening to me", Naruto gurgled between spits before he abruptly became, mesmerized by phantom dust accumulating at his feet.

"**GIVE TO ME WHAT IS MINE"**, moaned an escaladed gluttonous voice.

Naruto raised his head and shook off the strange occurrence with a quake of his head as he squelched another gagging sensation.

"What is that", Naruto questioned himself fallen onto a knee whilst he watched the goo after affects of his disembowelment coalesce into an oddly shaped four-legged creature.

The red misshaped quad-footed thing's front morphed into a shadowy outline of a head as Naruto let out another crimson heave as the head transformed into a giant jaw configuration.

"**NICE TO MEET YOU IN PERSON GAKI"**, the voice of the Kyuubi spoke through the mouth of the red jelly glob. The foxes tone of voice akin to a submerged diver communicating through an underwater radio from its chronically distorted tone.

Naruto's eyes widened considerably and his arms tensed as he let go of another messy goop from his craw. This one instead of a watery form came out shaped like wormy parasite and landed with a sickening splat on the forest floor before him.

The wormy looking slime transfigured into the shape of an oddly formed paddle and squiggled over the assumed foxes' waiting trap .Where it just hopped into and then jetted out the approximate area of the kitsune's tailbone. However, it was difficult to tell because the slime ball of a fox had no bones to show.

The kitsune swiftly delivered a distortedly concentrated gurgle like titter. "**ONE DOWN EIGHT MORE TO GO BRAT"! **

**RMS**

**--I'll go more in depth next chapter to plug up some holes--**

Sorry for the short chapter but I had a mental block so I chose to deliver this and take a short break before it turned chronic.

This is the official start of the fiction think of everything prior as a giant prologue, so tell me what you people think so far. I'll go back and extend this chapter by another 1-2k words when things are said and done but for now I have a *cough* *several*cough* science report[s] that needs to be written!

-how are the stories visuals thus far?

Poll –

F.Y.I this pairing is temporary I really never understood why author's form harem fic's or super gorgeous or charismatic Naruto fiction and then not let him date around with the other **Naruto girls (not nameless OC's you'll never meet or hear from). **It's, **CRIMINAL** I tell you!

**I have yet to meet a person that married the girl they meet when he was twelve! **(If you have…. Good for you I suppose?)

And besides I still want to keep Naruto's bride in suspense (*evil cackle*)

Ino-1

Sakura-1

Princess Yuki-1

Hinata-0

Fem. Haku-2

Nii Yuugito-1 (I fixed it, thanks for the tip XD)

Anko-1

Kurenai-1

Tenten-1

(The good Sage loves reviews and P.M's)!

**---C.S ~love those reader responses keep em' coming!**

P.S if the fic gets 30 reviews [total] before chapter 12 I will deliver a 5k chapter, that's almost triple the regular!

-bribery HELL YEA!

Am I ashamed …?

Neither was my mother!!?!!!

[Multiple votes from the same people don't bug me as long as they're coherent _i.e. a small phrase]_ ;)

P.S.S- Vote on my Pole, your involvment pleases the psycho monkey in me!


	7. Enter the Sand Man

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

WOOT 1K HITS!!!!

I was kind of perturbed by the lack of reviews last chapter, I went from about three or four a piece and now I'm back to square one…sigh*. On the flip side though the story went from 20 hits a chapter to 95! Now review damnit, lest my evil monkey test you!

Story time, ready set GO!

* * *

--**RMS**--

Four hours ago:

"_**GAKI, (chuckles) CAN'T SAY I'LL MISS YOUR INCOMPETENT ASS. MY RESURECTION IS AT HAND!**_

_**"HOWEVER IN THE MEAN TIME I LEFT YOU A PRESENT TO GET YOU BY UNTIL YOUR CREMATION"!**__ Those were the last words the fox cackled before vanishing into a misty vapor dispersed in the elements abound._

--

Naruto awoke to his feet then fell to his lap sick to his enflamed and abused stomach.

"Fucking fox and his legal shit", Naruto cursed trying to soothe his torched organ.

Across his stomach, Naruto placed carefully hand woven grass make shift bandages. That he made from the long blue grasses growing around him within his arms reach. While the weaving was a painful process, the production of a salve fashioned the nearby flowers and tree bark mixed in with some water from a canteen along with short medical pill infusions he managed to bring made it well worth the worming agony.

--

Naruto lay on his back basking in the shade of a large familiar oak tree noticing that he could not feel his wounds healing. Naruto peaked into his bandages and noticed that the familiar red youki like chakra that once flooded his system like a temperamental mother over a crying babe was no longer present.

"Looks like he's gone for good this time", Naruto strained out a smile his adult dream finally realized.

A large sandy eye floated out of the ground and looked down on Naruto through the tree cover.

**"GIVE ME WHAT IS MINE", **spoke a mouth spontaneously erupting from another tree directly opposite from the eye. Using a form of ventriloquism to transfer its voice towards the opening in the tree cover.

Naruto jumped up startled more form his negligence in his surrounding then the vocalize calls itself. Then fell back down to his knees his abdomen held in through clenched teeth.

The mouth dirt formation called out again. **"GIVE IT TO ME OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES".**

"Who's there", Naruto asked hastily hiding his growing apprehension.

"**HE WHO HAS BARTERED WITH THE FIERY SIN'S GIVE ME THE COMPENSATION OF THE COSMOS"**

Naruto looked around frantically after not finding the source of the voice form its initial location it was like fighting Zabuza all over again!

"WHO'S THERE?" Naruto asked as calmly as he could manage.

There was no response.

" DAMNIT STOP HIDING COWARD"! Naruto yelled despite the pain that pent from his ongoing outburst.

The eye disinagrated into ashy dust and the mouth dissipated into a clear smoggy cloud of dirt into the air unnoticeable to even the most adept human eyes, and flew together into a cloud behind Naruto collecting into a sandy outline of a figure filling in cracked features.

"**FOOLISH ONE IF YOU GRATIFY KAMI'S GIFT OF LIFE YOU WILL LOCK YOUR TONGUE AND PAY YOUR OWINGS! SIMPLE MORTAL WITH IMPURE EYE'S UPON THE SIGHT OF THE CELSESTIAL WILL ROT AND BURN TO ASH, THO WISH THIS THY FATE"?**

Naruto grew bug-eyed and disorientated. "….can you repeat that you lost me after 'foolish one'", Naruto asked sheepishly facing up towards the sky again.

A brown-clad figure appeared behind Naruto.

"**YOU ARE AN ODD ONE MORTAL", **echoed a voice behind Naruto.

Naruto stood up straight facing the cloaked one and put up a fake bravado. "What do want with me", he growled trying to intimidate the fellow.

"**UZUMAKI SPAWN, GIVE ME THY DEBT"**

Naruto made a face. "And what if I don't"?

A smirk appeared over the cloaked figure; as it adjusted its hood ever so faintly rendering a chipped jaw line that seem to expel a sandy substance the more the cloak was removed.

"**SPUNK… HOW EVER SO PLESANT, THANK YOU GAKI YOU'LL DO PERFECTLY", **the figure cackled.

"_I'm so confused. Is this person senile"?_ Naruto asked himself.

"**FOR THE LONGEST OF TIMES I HAVE SEARCHED, AND TO THINK I FIND MY SUCCESSOR IN THE HIDE OF MY FORMER'S COMRAD"! **Laughed the figure to himself

"What the hell are you talking about"?

"**HOW MANY BEINGS DOES THY KNOW TO POSSESS SAND MANIPULATION GAKI"?**

Naruto's eyes widened in realization, "Gara is that you"? Naruto asked rushing up to the figure forcefully removing its hood fully with a rough futon jutsu.

The strong gust of wind expelled from Naruto's hands flew out at the figure that just stood and took like an everyday common occurrence. The now identified male had red hair and his eye taped down with a dark muddy brown silk hiding its eyes. Over the person right eye glowing through the blind, falling vertically was the kanji for love scrawled in blood red ink bordering a smothered golden crimson. All wrapped around a weathered jaw line and cheek bones, though despite the cracked visage had a baby smooth finish that made the cracks on his face look more like decorative scares or some other form of facial embellishment.

(A/N-think Gara after he got his sand armour fisted by Lee, then add in the rest of the details.)

"**GARA DIED, UZUMAKI…. I AM WHAT YOU CALL A CELISTIAL REANCARNATION".**

"Hey wait slow down, why do you keep call me Uzumaki I'm a Namikaze"!

"**AS FAR AS I'M CONCERENED YOU'RE A BASTARD CHILE SINCE YOUR PARENTS NEVER MARRIED. SO YOU HAVE NO TRUE ATTACHMENTS TO THAT NAME"**

"Yes they did marry! I even have the records and photo's they took that day"!

"**IF THAT IS THE FALSE LOGIC THAT YOU WISH TO SURRENDER TO THAT IS NONE OF MY CONCER."  
**

The Gara look alike rubbed its temples and pulled its hood back on. **"ENOUGH OF THIS SQUABBLE GIVE ME THY DEBT"!**

"What fucking debt are you talking about"?

"**DID THAT KITSUNE TELL YOU NOTHING, ONLY THE MOST FOOLISH OF FOOLS BARTER WITH A DEVIL WITHOUT AT LEAST THE SLIGHTEST OF INSIGHTS"!**

Naruto lay back against a nearby tree blushing slightly from his misplaced trust in the fox. Though no longer quite as threatened by this figure as before, after all if he could beat Gara when he was alive when he himself was at half strength, he could take this Gara look alike too…right?

"**THE PAST WAS NOT MENT TO BE CHANGED NOR DID THE FUTURE TO BE PREDICTED BEYOND COMMON SENSE UZUMAKI, YOU HOLD THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE FUTURES HAPPENINGS AND EVENTS. CAN YOU GUESS, WHAT IT IS THAT I WANT NOW UZUMAKI"?**

"Yeah, I know what you want from me and I'll be fucked thrice over before you take my memory from me bastard .Gara or not I'll not your ass back to Suna's graveyard before you take those away from me"!

The figure let out a monotonous chuckle and began to speak at a lower volume, robotic monotone reminiscent of Gara.

**"Uzumaki, I am a perfect being. You cannot hope to best me in any form of contest whether your challenge be physical or mental. Nonetheless is it not every mortals at some point or your own child insecurities dream to start over? In your case to have a fresh start freed of the times of the forth comings and the peers that so viciously shunned you? How would you like to be treated as an equal by all the people amongst you, no longer to have the ties of the fox to hold you down while it lasts"?**

Naruto's eyes soften at the offer as chunks of his life flashed before him.

Naruto spoke softly his eyes a little watery at the memory of his wifes abduction."You know you might be right this time."

The figures mouth morphed into a phantom smile that represented itself more like a reptillian smirk as the face of a snake breezed over the figures looks.

Naruto's eyes widen in realization at the mans insinuation at his sudden change and lost his soft exterior. "Wait what do you mean while it lasts"?

The man smirked and gave himself a short chortle. "**You never were the brightest bulb…in blunt I will only allow you time in the era for so long. Then you'll be bonded with that baka again". **The man said directing a chuckle at Naruto .

Naruto's eye grew to saucer proportions in disbelief. "What the hell do you bonded again; I just got rid of the bastard damnit"!

"**ENOUGH QUESTIONS THOU'S MOUTH HAS RUN ENOUGH, THY DEBT IS MINE. NO MORE STALLING"!**

Naruto tried to jump back and get away from the carbon copy of Gara but found himself firmly stuck in a wounding cocoon of blistered sand.

"**WHEN I SAID I WAS PERFECT GAKI IT WANS'T FOR SHOW…."** The man abruptly stopped talking turning his face up stalled for a time.

A ghostly beam of light showered over the Gara look alike for a phantom second, then disenigrated in plain sight just as fast as it came.

The copy started up again his chin pointed towards the heavens. "**WELL LOOKS LIKE THIS ISN'T ALL BAD FOR YOU SHRIMP MEAT, YOU GET SOMETHING YOURSELF AFTER ALL"!**

The figured chuckled hungrily as a Tunaki's arm rumbled out of the dirt and founds its way inside Naruto gullet. Naruto teared up a bit but otherwise felt nothing but a numbing sensation as a stampede of bright neon gold crystallized sand particles journeyed their way into his esophagus.

Naruto unleashed a muffled scream as another sand construction this one rather dampen in color rushed it to him in the form of a hand. Incoming sharply the waved muddy hand sharply slapped itself open palmed over Naruto's now exposed stomach giving him a grinding stinging sensation through his body. It felt like belly flopping of a fifty-foot high dive. The untouched wrist shaped part of the hand twisted and contorted its form into something similar to a snake or an intestinal parasite.

(Think about The Matrix for this part)

Naruto's eyes widened in fear and the Gara copy physically softened somewhat as the wormy creature launched itself into a hole made in the sand directly into Naruto's bellybutton. It was careful to take its time to barrow its' head in and squiggle its slimy form into the blonds stomach.

Naruto's invisible screams spooked the site for hours to come as the nest was built...

--

Two days later

Naruto groggily stood to his feet, still a wee bit ditzy, but from what… he was not sure. "I feel like shit", Naruto gargled to himself. "What happen last night", Naruto questioned himself further.

Naruto took in the appearance of his environs discerning vaguely familiar flora and an increasingly familiar trench. Naruto squinted, his eyes into the distance to verify himself a smidgen.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say judging from all the light in that trench someone is having a tussle." Naruto scratched in his chin, hardly making out two figures. One resembled a faintly familiar Uchiha in a scary faction, the other….not so much.

Naruto weighed his option his conscious instantaneously opting to stay away from any possible fray in his unknown condition, however his mentally ingrained canine curiosity, and lack of personifying common sense in these situations got the better of him. "Well if I'm going to see this through, I better see if everything is still working properly", Naruto whispered to himself aloud.

Naruto fixed his posture and stood up as straight as he could and began going through numerous exercises.

First, he took both of his hands and began to move then around in barreled circles in front of his chest about half an arm length away. Naruto kept his arms rolling in the same direction during the entire interval of his coordination test. Then he shifted his hands independent revolution in reverse directions.

"So far so good", Naruto articulated.

Naruto looked up into the tree canopy covering overhead. "Now to get my hands on some pine cones from way up there". Naruto blew his lips at the size of the easily fifty foot trees overhead.

"Well at least this gives me an excuse to stretch my legs out little", Naruto rationalized with himself to give himself that ample spark of motivation to see this uncertainty through.

Naruto wobbly hopped up into the tree brush and plucked up several of the seeds using various unnecessary acrobatics. Lunging from tree to tree, using cartwheels, summersaults, corkscrews, adjacent spin dives or whatever else his mature blond mind could handle to get to his desired targets. Almost falling on his head more than once only to be saved by the tree's overhanging vines in the denser parts of the canopy each time.

--

2 minutes later: 

Naruto finally managed to grab enough of the samples and begun to juggle them in a proficient fashion, occasionally miss calculating and bonking himself in tender areas around his face.

--

"Okay check list time", Naruto said to himself in the empty clearing. "Arm's are okay, hands are okay, legs are working like a gem, and if me landing on my crutch on the way down that branch is any recollection my nervous system and muscles are working fine as well", Naruto chuckled to himself while rubbing his.... leg.

Naruto bonked his head. "Stupid, stupid, stupid how could I have forgotten"? Naruto shifted his hand into a tiger seal and started to mold up his chakra to find it working find as well. "Now how about this, Kage bushin no jutsu"! Naruto called out attracting the attention of a bleach blond haired man.

* * *

**RMS**

Okay I came back and made some minor changes with this chapter, hopefully taking care of those silly grammatical and spelling errors I read over earlier. All thats left is for you to, wait for it....REVIEW (yeah)!


	8. Toads And Rudeness

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N- Sorry for the extensive wait, but that dastardly Internet company whose name I will keep on the low to avoid suing cut me off (Hint, three letters: first one's A last one's S)- cookie if you can figure out who.

Oh, and I changed the last part of the previous chapter. I realize that while I had meant to introduce the younger version of the fourth, he is not born yet in this timeline.

P.S.S- So no one is confused remember, Naruto's little meeting with the sand dude? I will say this thinly as not to give too much away, but his mind isn't what it used to be (for now).

**--RMS--**

Naruto bonked his head. "Stupid, stupid how could I have forgotten"? Naruto shifted his hand into a tiger seal and started to mold up his chakra, finding his chakra network working accordingly. He strained himself albeit more gathering that none of his chakra point where blocked or collapse to obstruct future chakra use. Subsequently with a tad bit more effort, he found that the pores on his skin that allowed chakra passage for his more unique disposal of techniques were not restricted either.

"Now how about this, Kage bushin no jutsu"! Naruto called out creating a large rippling light that absorbed Naruto who was unaware. The effects of the warp attracted the attention of a bleach blond haired Nin traveling in the nearby bush.

_-- Flashback: three minutes ago--_

_An unknown ninja wearing a oil headband jerked his head to the left and spotted Naruto in an crowded clearing. Naruto was currently jumping around in the trees seemingly collected odd nuts or pines from the tree line. Showing great dexterity and coordination commonly seen in seasoned Chunnins._

_Taking this unknown as a threat the white haired figure decided to make himself known._

_--Flashbacck end--_

"Hey who's there? Show yourself"! Called out a white haired ninja cautiously entering Naruto's clearing.

Naruto looked over his shoulder to find a strapping young lad probably in his mid or early twenties wearing the strangest kabuki outfit he had ever seen calling out to him.

"_Let me see here. Do I answer and greet him? On the other hand he might be hostile so could just ignore this person and hide in the bushes_." Naruto debated to himself. "_Then again he already knows I'm here…". _Naruto chuckled to himself, the answer was as palpable as the nose on his face.

The face painted ninja shouted out again. This time the person's call more confident after taking an eyeful of Naruto's bandaged predicament.

Naruto weighed his option and walked further into the open showing himself to the strangely garbed Nin.

The assumed shinobi watched Naruto approach him with a critical eye.

Naruto stopped a good thirty yards distance between the two.

"Are you a shinobi", asked the decoratively embellished ninja loosely, still fairly confident that he was in full command of the situation given the fresh blotches of red on Naruto's bandages..

Naruto steeled a frown. He thought this person made his situation all the easier unbeknown of the information the white haired Nin had already gathered on him. Though regardless of the last bit Naruto let his ninja training kick in and let his mind run free to search for an excuse.

--

(A/N- If you do not know who the person is by now… Shame on you)

--

Drawing blanks for a good back up story that he could use in case of further interrogation Naruto,wistfully replied in a solem tone.

"No", Naruto lied slowly whilst he walked towards the Nin closing the gap to twenty-five yards.

The seasoned ninja sighed. Then meet Narutoface to face in a blink of an eye. Flicking Naruto's, face with strands of his white hairs in a short whipping motion, to hopefully degrade Naruto's _'macho front'_.

"Do you know who I am gaki", asked the unknown ninja smugly.

Naruto drew in a small breath and honestly answered, "No". Seeing no reason to etch a lie into that short question.

The ninja sweat dropped a carbon copy of his face into two feet worth of the hard dried earth. His pride had just taken a sharp blow that would not soon recover.

Naruto turned his head sideways and stared on at the Nin, curiosity evident on his face by the strange man's boisterous question.

Collecting himself, exaggeratingly patting the accrued dust of his person the figure coughed into the back of his fist. To, prep his throat with the jerked esophageal motion.

"Then it is time that you are properly educated". He exclaimed to the tune of a mysterious cowbell and drum roll noise. That harmoniously clacked and pattered in the background.

The man took a long look at Naruto's bandaged form. Determining it safe to gloat the strangely clad-man, finally starting his routine.

The man clapped his hands to the left side of his head and rocked his hair around him in a circle.

"BEHOLD THE MAN THAT THE LADIES CRAVE!"

He stomped his feet three times each and started talking in a fancy baritone akin to church minister.

"THE MAN THAT EVEN THE ANGELS WEEP AT HIS OWN PERFECTIONS, (Jiraiya flexed his arms) THE SAGE OF LOVE AND THE TRUE PIONEER OF THE FIRST GREAT ANAL JOURNEY HIMSELF!"

The man continued while doing the pelvic thrust in a seductive motion (He is not gay!). He clapped his hands to the right side of his head. Then he danced in a drunken circle…oval.

"BEHOLD THE GREAT ALL POWERFUL"…

--twelve minutes later—

"JIRAIYA-SAMA", yelled Jiraiya magically. Producing a hologram of a nude version of Tsunade that he ogled and *cough* thoroughly.

"Now that you know what you're up against. Will you come with me willingly or not"! Exclaimed Jiraiya as a poof of smoke appeared under him. Divulging a large fifteen-foot orange toad on which he now stood. Like nobility posing for mural on a flat stone fake sword in hand and all.

Naruto stared at Jiraiya blankly confused as hell. While Jiraiya mentally congratulated himself. Then coughed into his fist, to regain his lost composure.

Naruto gave Jiraiya another blank look, his jaw agape and eyebrow twitching.

Jiriaya coughed to the side and blew out a large sigh. "Last chance to come clean…" Jiriaiya trailed taking out a pair of kunai. His summon copying him by taking out a sickly cheese grater red katana.

(Imagine a, red nail filler enlarged to the size and shape of a standard katana made completely out of metal with square slits going throughout its body, with a sickle shaped bronzed handle)

Naruto narrowed his eyes accordingly and casually brushed his left hand over his golden bangs and placed it behind his head, and then mimicked that action with his right hand. His hand's sweeping motion brushed some of the hair away from his face exposing a metallically brandished gleam on his forehead over a dark yellow band.

Jiraiya blinked in recognition of the headband, mistaking the scratchy, battle-worn leaf insignia for another. "Aha, a Kumo nin, I knew it", the toad man yelled pointing an accusing finger at Naruto.

"Kumo Nin, where", Naruto asked double taking in every direction kunai in hand.

"Nice try kumo", Jiraiya exclaimed getting to a more comfortable postion on his warty companion.

"I'M NOT A KUMO NINJA BAKA"! Naruto yelled back angry that Jiraiya dare acuse him of being a cloud ninja.

"You are a liar"! Jiraiya shouted back in indignity, pointing out what he thought was the obvious.

"Give me some oil Bunta"! Jiraiya commanded pointing his left hand toward Naruto for a moment for effect. Then switching his hands positioning into a tiger seal, "Katon: Toad oil ember". Jiraiya shouted as he shot out a slim torrent of red flames that licked and grazed upon the toad's oil spout that jetted out from the toads engorged oral cavity in a thin stream directly towards Naruto.

Naruto clicked his tongue and whispered a subtle "damn", at his ignorant converse impulses.

'POOF'

'POOF'

"Ha, got em'", Jiraiya cocked oblivious of the second poof.

"**Jiraiya you fool, he's standing next to you dumbass"**, the toad said then took a swipe, nicking Naruto's side.

Jiraiya reflexively hopped off the toad in response to Gamabunta's sleek strike that could have decapitated him, as the toad followed through with a high reverse swing.

"Watch where you're swinging that thing Bunta", Jiraiya yelled angrily from the ground.

Naruto stood approximately seven feet away from Jiraiya's left and two feet from the young toad's right looking on morbidly confused as to why he assaulted by the strange man. While he pressed onto his cut wound to stop the bleeding. He had no idea how deep the cut was or if it was infected. The toad's blade was jagged and covered in sharp indention type hooks. A whitish yellow slime seemed to pulse from the toad's knife every time it changed its grip. That furthure influenced his caution around cut wounds, his body unused to naturally fighting off harmfull bacteria.

Jiraiya started to argue with Gamabunta.

Naruto waved and flapped his hands madly to catch the duos attention.

Gamabunta hit the Toad sage in the back of his head with the butt of his sword. "**Over there baka", **the toad croaked in deep raspy voice pointing out Naruto.

Jiraiya with his brand new baseball sized bump, turned his head only to see Naruto waving at him crazily. Taking this as a potentiall diversion of some concoction Jiraiya waved back then discreatly thrusted a kunai he pulled out of thin air at Naruto going for a head shot.

Naruto's eyes widened a tad at the approaching Kunai and swerved his waist in a wide arc misjudging the Kunai's trajectory. Finally sensing his lap in judgment towards the incoming stiletto Naruto closed his eyes, in sudden shock.

'DING', ringed the mini blade as it hacked across Naruto's headband, scarring his forehead protector with a thin visible gauge.

Naruto blinked once.

He blinked twice.

He blinked thrice as he watched the metallic death rebound of his forehead and plummet to his feet. Like Shaq when he tried free throwing off the backboard.

Jiraiya mirrored Naruto to a queue. The man's cheeks were red from embarrassment.

"**Baka"**, Gamabuta scowled. **"Don't call on me anymore you poor excuse for a shinobi".**The toad finished with an eardrum, shattering croak poofing himself out of existence back to the summoning realm.

Jiraiya looked downcast. "Well I don't need you either Bunta"! He yelled well after his summon dispelled.

Naruto twitched incessantly at his near encounter with death. Shakily he patted his forehead feeling a morbidly familiar cold metal for reassurance for what had just occurred.

"_To think I used to think that shit was just another piece of un-cock worthy embroidery"_, Naruto snorted to himself feeling _around_ the crease of the cut.

"How the hell did I miss"! Jiraiya scolded into the sky. "He's almost paraplegic for Kami's sake." Jiraiya said miffed. Jiraiya barbed his nose at Naruto's improvised, red-blotched medical tape. Around the young Uzumaki's torso painted a fresh coat of red from Bunta's blade.

Naruto grew a tick.

"Who you calling a cripple you sharp shooting poser"! Naruto yelled back minor injury forgotten.

The toad man got red faced, from anger this time.

Jiraiya imprinted his fist into a tree, shattering it. "Shut up Kumo"!

Naruto cooled down a speck unmoved.

"I'm not a Kumo ninja"! Naruto shouted with a lesser volume pulling his hair away from his face showing the leaf insignia engraved on it. Unknowingly showing the fresh slash across his, adorned Haiti.

"You're a missing-nin"! Jiraiya strongly called back his accusing rebuttal. "I knew it. "There's no ninja out there who hasn't heard of me and my exploits." He continued taking a taijutsu stance and prepared a technique.

'**VROOOOSH'**

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"! Jiraiya yelled as he was scooped up by a wave of water and flung into the sky.

-- (Somewhere in Konoha)

Jiraiya stood himself up groggily using a soft mound of ... something for support. The young toad sage's blood ran dry as he felt his hands grip twitch.

The toad man sneezed spreading a powder of white everywhere, some getting on his person and cleared a crate with the words Marshmallows on it.

Feeling adventurous Jiraiya squeezed the mound of assumed sweets, an action responded with a moan.

Jiraiya grinned and squeezed again, harder this time.

Heart full grunts meet his ears as Jiraiyakept prompting and playing around with his interactive friend.

Jiraiya started to use some special language with his special friend getting soft grunts back word for word.

With a lecherous grin unable to sustain himself further, Jiraiya pulled on the fleshy mounds in his grip and torque over to face the playful thing that he had the pleasure of squeezing.

"AAAAHHHH"! Jiraiya screamed in mortification steaming tracks behind his as he ran out of a circus tent, back to his happy place with the Kunoichi and the bruising.

--

"DAMNIT SENJUU STAY STILL", yelled a red-eyed figure as he scorched out a succession of fireballs after a battered Hokage, _crystallizing_ part of Naruto's cloak in passing.

"What the hell bitch, I just got this shit"! Naruto yelled at the red-eyed man angrily.

The raven-haired Nin turned his head to Naruto. Then took a peak at his wrapped form and laughed daftly at Naruto insult subsequently flashed through hand seals. Followed by raising his hand, summoning torrents of lightning bolts from the sky; looking to smite the blonde-haired man.

Naruto squeaked meekly, dodging the bolts with stunning acrobatics.

Naruto continued to dodge and roll around the ground while the figure happily supplied Naruto with more obstacles.

Naruto's eyes widened for the third time that day, cornered by an in closing box or electricity. Thinking fast Naruto tried to pile underground with some of the many doton jutsu that he knew but to no avail. He was already knee deep in static bedrock and he did not have any earth jutsu's strong enough to puncture it.

"Shit". Naruto cursed to himself feeling desperate. Naruto called on his arsenal of futon jutsu and slowly began to barrow through the ground at a quickening pace.

The raven-nin raised an eyebrow at Naruto choice of escape and smirked while he formed a cup with both of his hands. He placed one-hand flat palms facing up onto of each other and bending all of his fingers in at a ninety degree.

Narutoscreamed being brutally zapped by a wall like cage of lighting that rammed into him, stuck in the negatively electrical charges for a solid ten seconds. A long ten seconds that numbed his body's pain receptors hungrily at each passing moment. Wanting to keep himself from being flayed Naruto yelled/shrieked. "Futon: Great Break though", jet propelling himself away from the wall and dissipating part of the partition. Unfortunately, the wall of chakra-induced electricity was not compliant and proceeded to stitch itself as Naruto was preparing to land.

The Nin smiled again and flipped the cup he formed in his hands from open up, to open-down. The simple action swung the walls of unnaturally steroid enhanced, currents of electricity from the ground into the air to block off Naruto choice of evasion.

Naruto relaxed for a time then did a quick take behind after hearing crackly noise from his rear.

-

Seeing this as a chance the singed Hokage strained out a jutsu.

"Suton: Water charm no jutsu", coughed out the garbed Hokageshooting out spiked disfigured heart like spears at his offender, striking him head on. Splattering the red-eyed man into the bedrock at there feet. The force of the water like a fret train from its chakra enhancement and momentum that actually partially engulfed the red-eyed man as it pushed him into the earth.

-

Naruto congested his eyes feeling claustrophobic at the rapidly closing expanse between himself and the persistent hedge of lighting. It seemed that no matter where he flung himself to the crackly barrier would always be there to stop him, and on top of that, it was multiplying!

When he moved left, it was there. If he juked right, it doubled and cut of his North east/west and South east/west option. If he bothered to look for clear one shot escape it would clamp down on him forcing him to expelled huge augment of chakra to escape being bound and fried to death.

Naruto concurred to himself once more contemplating an escape option. He knew that if he did not get out of the now four wall of shifting currents he would succumb to chakraexhaustion eventually. Especially without the aid of the fox to refuel his dwindling chakra supply.

Naruto let out another massive cursing spell as the walls robotically orientated into a prism and started to lift off the ground forcing him to remain air born.

Naruto blasted wind jutsu's left and right starting to feel the tug of his repeatitive chakra usage. A hot sweat breaking out on his face from the heat radiated from his entrapment.

**--RMS—**

**Omake (My first, enjoy):**

(Jiraiya in Sarutobi's office)

"JIRAIYA GOOD GOD WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU" Sarutobi asked worriedly.

Jiraiya had midnight shadow and the complexion of a crack addict.

(Shaking) "I-I've s-seen things man", Jiraiya stuttered rocking back and forth. "I'VE FELT THINGS MAN", Jiraiya shouted hysterically, shaking Sarutobi's shoulder's madly. Then fell in the fetal position nibbling his nails.

"Who did this to you? What did you see? Was it an Iwa terrorist attack"? Sarutobi asked bulletin millions of questions concerned for his student's mental health.

Jiraiya crawled into one of the corners of the room and replied with a hush, his hands glowing a tainted holy gold.

"_Bears weren't meant to be touched by these hands"._

**End Omake!**

Yeah Jiraiya's a bit of a numb skull. However, from those brief instances of him as a kid in manga I could picture him doing this (story wise not Omake wise, actually scratch that last part).

F.Y.I he's younger then what I mentioned beforehand.

Updates will be random although I will update when I can. I have lots' of things going on that need taken care of

Poll results (remember these pairing **might not** **be** permanent!):

Teen

Ino-2

Sakura-3

Hinata-1

Fem. Haku-3

Nii Yuugito-2 (Her age escapes me so until I find out otherwise she is here)

Tenten-2

Adult

Anko-2

Kurenai-2

Princess Yuki-2

THE ADULT POLL ENDS IN THREE CHAPTERS!

--REVIEW—

If I get ten reviews for this chapter all chapters from here on out will be 3-4k words each and if I get the 100 review quota I'll deliver a 7-10k word chapter so go crazy and REVIEW!


	9. Death To Pink Eye part1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Woot! Twelve reviews, personal best!

Moreover, while I did get ten reviews I wanted they were not for the chapter in question, so the length for chapters remains the same. However, for breaking my first checkpoint on my quest for 100 reviews I present to you….

_Last time_

_Naruto congested his eyes claustrophobic at the rapidly dying expanse between himself and the persistent hedge of lighting. It seemed that no matter where he flung himself, the crackly barrier would always be there to stop him. Then on top of that, it was multiplying!_

_Naruto concurred to himself contemplating an escape option. He knew that if he did not get out of the now four walls of shifting currents. He would eventually succumb to chakra exhaustion, without the aid of the damnable fox to refuel his dwindling chakra supply._

'_Zap'! Naruto let out a miserable grunt, stung again by the walls blockade._

_Naruto let out another massive cursing spell as the walls robotically orientated into a prism and started to lift off the ground forcing him to remain air born. _

**--RMS—**

Naruto blasted wind jutsu's east west and every other cardinal direction. Beginning to feel the slight tug of his chakra usage, a hot sweat broke out on his face from the radiant heat of his entrapment.

"DAMNIT, What the hell did I ever do to get into this mess"! Naruto hollered to himself whilst he shot another wave of wind at the electrical fencing that ricocheted off the electrical wall, deteriorating the fortification of sparks, only for the dastardly thing to rebuild and reinforce itself in the space of a millisecond.

--

The fire logged fire shadow climbed to his knees breathing hard and spared a glance at Naruto's quandary.

--

A light bulb went off in Naruto's head he noticed that the time within each repair the electro walls occasionally lagged off a couple of seconds every time he pumped a specific wall with his wind assault. Depending on the amount of damage, it sustained.

Survival instincts and this bit of info kicking in, Naruto acted.

Naruto held out his arms as straight as he could. Locking his elbows and placing middle and pointer finger together on both hands. Then he mutually touched both digits on either hand together at their points creating a 'V' shaped arrow. Directing said arrow towards a prism wall directly in front of him.

--

Gravel fell like confetti as the red-eyed man viciously thrashed his fist into the valley's side to free his hand from the blistering weight of the boulder pinning him down. "DAMN YOU HASIRAMA SENJUU", the Nin yelled freeing his hand just to have his right eye spiked by an unseen stalagmite within his cove.

"GRRRRAAAA"! The Nin growled in agony his screams echoing across the valley, a family of startled bats flushing out into the skies as he covered his profusely bleeding eye with his recently freed hand.

--

Naruto jetted a strong pulse of wind from the back of both his hands using his evolution of the great breakthrough, that he called **the fanatical distortion jutsu.**

The technique sent out a wave of sound and sight distorted gales that send fierce vibrations as well as severe through its target with diminutive wind sickles infused reverberation notes. Its' pitch potential, capable of shattering glass or even dense rock formations if enough chakra is used. While its distortion made it difficult to pin point. Since after the moves release the user could guide the gales like a yoyo. Manipulating it to fit his or her needs though the chakra consumption limits the amount of times it could be used to an average four times. However, in Naruto's case because of his massive chakra reserves was currently limited to thirty individual air thrusts.

--

Naruto aimed the pulse and unleashed it not bothering to disguise it against the now independent prism. The effort would have been pointless and unnecessary and all he was relying on now was, Futon's superiority to Raton jutsu's along with his techniques vibration effect.

Mental calibrations finished Naruto began to mold his chakra and used the appropriate hands seals, "Futon: Fanatical distortion no jutsu"! Naruto called out unleashes the inundation of his original gen/ninjutsu hybrid.

'ZRRAAP'

(A/N- If that Raton to Futon thing is wrong…. Lets' just go with it for now ok?)

--

The Hokage coughed out a spoon full of saliva mixed blood got to his feet and gave Naruto a curious look.

"_How did this boy get Madara abstracted so carelessly? It is not like the blasted Uchiha to be so lackadaisical…" _The young Hokage thought to himself while his gaze kept. Set on Naruto.

_--_

The pulse made contact creating a fist size hole into the wall of the prism. The afflicted wall than did something that got Naruto's head to turn. It swapped itself out with another wall, a process that happen so fast that it almost escaped his trained eyes. Naruto watched his techniques as critically as he could afford while he continually bounced around the prism that had since ceased to enclose on him. Seemingly content on slowing draining him of his life's energy and taking him out painfully when he could defend himself no further.

Naruto mouthed the word "yes", as his mental bulb further brightened, a plan formed. "I got your number bastard". Naruto smirked sending another violent flow of pulsations to the afflicted wall using his techniques quickening vibrations to melt the gales through the substituted barrier to the original.

"Thought as much", Naruto mumbled with the phantom of a smile as he watched the damaged wall switch back to its previous place, and the reinforced wall evaporate with another stroke of wind. "Now we got something going here", Naruto grinned manically blasting away at the same wall repeatedly. Each discharge widening the fist-sized hole in the prism while destroying supporting walls faster than they could repair; never forgetting to jet himself mid-air to keep from being fried.

_Flash forward 5 minutes:_

Naruto, at last freed of his repression. Fell to the ground by his knees gasping for breath as his mold containment only supplied carbonated inhalers.

(**Notes**: For anyone he did not understand that last bit. Electricity is hot and while I am no expert in that area. I surmised that if someone was trapped in a freely electrical wall, the heat off the walls would burn away the oxygen within it, leaving them with access carbon dioxide that they would continue to 'filter' through their lungs until they died via suffocation. Keep in mind that this event is taking place in a _small_ clearing meaning trees and other flora bound to be close by, so in other words. Can we say 'fire'?)

--

Hashirama, catching his second wind started to run into the crater like trench, not giving Naruto another thought.

--

Naruto catching his breath heard the mildly silent batter of feet rhythmically trudging over autumns crumbly leaves. So, he faced the directions of the sound spotting the blurred outlines of the Leaf's singed leader.

"Where is he going", Naruto asked himself aloud. After taking a minuet pause, he snapped his fingers.

"I know! He is probably trying to find that dude that attacked me. Then since that guy who attacke me didn't have a headband he can't be a ninja. So his red eyes must mean some kind of infection like someone with pink eye! So obviously the person that attacked me is scared of hospitals and the like so the Hokage himself was needed to convince him to take him medicine!" Naruto nodded to himself at his brilliant deduction and then fell silent still bobbing his head.

…

…

…

Naruto peeked open an eye and noticed his damaged robe.

"THAT GUY OWES ME A NEW ROBE!" Naruto yelled into the open startling a harmless flock of blue birds.

With those words in mind, Naruto leapt after the unidentified kage full throttle content on beating a new robe out of the pink-eyed Nin.

(A/N- for a visual of how Naruto looks, imagine a dark black, heavily dark brown tinted grim reaper cloak hood and all. With the hood down showing, his contradicting spiked sunny blonde mop going down to mid back just past his shoulder blades hanging down freely. His whisker marks are still barley shadowed on his cheeks with a diagonal scar going through both eyes like Kakashi [from Sasuke's experiment])

**--RMS--**

[Continuing from the top] …. A CLIFFY!

How did you like the chapter? The chapter's short just fifty-six words shy of 2k but my free time is, gobbled up by schoolwork and I did not want to keep you guys/gals waiting too long. So till later.

F.Y.I- Naruto is not stupid just a tad bit ignorant. This will not be a continuously reoccurring theme just something to mellow out the story to transition in and out of certain _things_. A smart/genius Naruto is a boon but even a genius has his moments, this is not to say that this is a brilliant Naruto fiction or anything. That is yet to be decided. The story will continue transform as time progresses until I find a constant.

Word of advice- Never take cookies from 6 year olds no matter how good they smell or look even if your told its okay to do from your folks…. Karma is a bitch like that!

Poll results:

Teen

Ino-2

Sakura-3

Hinata-5

Fem. Haku-3

Nii Yuugito-6

Tenten-2

Adult

Anko-3

Kurenai-2

Princess Yuki-3

So far, Nii Yuugito is in the lead with six votes with Hinata not too far behind with five.

Now I am going to add a catch to the poll, while the pairing is not permanent, if you read my blunt foreshadowing in early chapters or last minute notes you would know that there might be another time travel skip. Now instead of telling you I am going to hint at the catch, I do not plan to have an adult Naruto with a young lets' say Tenten, or a young pimpin' Naruto with an older Anko. So why in a deeper sense did I divide the poll up into two categories?

Final hint: Age=Time

(I will smite you if you cannot figure it out, that hint was a given!)

Final note: Did I mention something about hitting a certain review count by this chapter or is it just me?

--confused yet?

**C.S**


	10. Death To Pink Eye part2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

Sorry for the long-ass wait but I had tests all month that I needed to study for and now I have the standardized testing coming up. Remind me in the future that I owe you guys a 5k chapter for making check point, though hopefully this chapter makes up for some of that wait.

**Notes**: Vote on my poll (homepage) it will determine the future of this fiction…to an extent

-

**The winner** of the Naruto skill poll is *Drum roll* Seal master Naruto with an affinity for wind, water and lightning! (How original) but for the sake of originality and to keep my brain from freezing from the lack of innovative enthusiasm. I will add in one or two sub elements (poll at the bottom) and I will swap lightning for earth. If you would rather have the original, set send me a review with a reason why.

--

_Last time:_

_Naruto peeked at his damaged robe. "THAT GUY OWES ME A NEW ROBE!" Naruto yelled into the open startling a flock of blue birds. With those words in mind, Naruto_ _leapt after the unidentified kage full throttle content on beating a new robe out of the pink-eyed Nin._

**--RMS--**

The chase for Naruto's' hit and runner as he was fruitful tracked down to a barren landscape. "Found em'", Naruto smirked. The red-eyed ninja was pulling his body out from out of a rocky indention inside a large trench. Naruto pranced down off the trenches ledge into the once serene clearing turned gutter. At the brink of his cruise, he unceremoniously landed on the plant user.

'PLOP'

"Ughh" Hiroshima groaned from the extra weight that graced his spine. Scrounging himself off the dirt Hiroshima rolled over on the floor effectively knocking over Naruto with him.

The leader coughed then blinked as he saw Naruto on top of him in a compromising position. "What the hell are you doing kid"! Hiroshima scolded Naruto while he pushed him off. Naruto startled at his voice jumped back at the force of the kage's shove and stood at attention.

He looked around frantic for the source of the voice and thing that felled him twice. Finally, he spotted the Senjuu laid under his feet. "How'd you get down there"? Naruto asked dubiously ignoring the kage's stern question relaxing his tensed muscles for a time. Naruto thought the kage seemed kindly enough and if the fire country garb meant anything, he should not have anything to fear. Talk about having an appalling memory.

Hiroshima looked Naruto over and shook his head. "You know what? You are not worth it kid." He said jumping back to his feet while he clutched his ribs and coughed out some blood.

"I'm in pursuit". He trailed in a sober tone that left an enlightened feature on Naruto's face.

Naruto nodded his head and got back to his feet as well. "Oh you mean that dude with the diseased eyes right"? Naruto asked again this time more confidently. Hiroshima not knowing to what extent the word diseased meant or the more precisely the _literal_ use Naruto used merely nodded in response.

After all that bit of information was public knowledge in Konohagure. He even wanted to go as far as to give Naruto an order to return to the village for backup from when he saw a speck of what might have been a leaf band when Madara cornered Naruto in the electro-prism-o-death.

Naruto nodded his head again about to speak when his headband once again glistened, refracting off the light. A bulb went off in the Hokage's head as he smacked his head mentally for his obscene stupidity at not taking a closer notice to Naruto's allied band sooner.

Hiroshima floated his now glowing green hands over his wounds visibly rejuvenating his wounds and other small cuts on his form. "What kind of idiot do you take me for"! The first shadow demanded while he reached into his side pouch and popped a soldier and blood-replenishing pill into his mouth.

Naruto just stared at him as a man would a cat that spontaneously combusted before getting drunk in celebration. After a moment of silence, Naruto finally set himself even and asked. "What are you talking about" he wondered Hiroshima's face tickled something in the back of his mind. There was something about the kage or person that rumbled something in his psyche, he could honestly say he did not know the man yet he felt that he knew him. It was a confusing notion that built in distortion the more he reflected on it.

Hiroshima stamped his hands into the ground and started to conduct killing intent. "A leaf ninja went rogue I've never met?" Hiroshima mock asked. "Think your fixture more thoroughly Iwa scum!" He yelled out raising his hands to forehead level, clapped them then rammed them wrist deep into the dirt.

"_What the hell is up with everyone saying I'm from Iwa"?_ Naruto thought to himself then felt something rumble at his feet. A slim tentacle of entwined vines overturned the soil under the blonde-man's feet and grabbed him by the ankles then hung him in an upside down position that left him wafting freely. "What the hell is this"! Naruto exclaimed as he felt the vine wrap around his body restraining his arms and constrict his chest with ravenous precision. Though before they pent up Naruto managed to grasp a hand around his neck, palm facing outward and intercepted a creeper going for his throat.

Hiroshima grunted at his misfortune. "Lucky kid, that sucker would have snapped your neck on contact." A bead of sweat rolled down Naruto's face in response.

Hiroshima took a short pause and mumbled, "Let us see how long you last" chanting the last bit to himself and shrugged a shoulder over his eye to pick out some dirt that dusted into his tear duct. Then he pushed his hands deeper into the soil at his fingers tips drawing an effect on Naruto, as the vines became more visibly sadistic.

Naruto's pupils dilated in pure agony. "ARRRAA", he shouted at the tightening living strands of shit fertilized wild growth. The hyped vines groped and sprung at his sides stretching him out like man tied to four horses while others teared at his muscles like an angry feline suffering from catnip withdrawal.

The kage hands still firm in the ground turned his head and coughed almost losing his twine on Naruto."Forest rebirth jutsu", Hiroshima hoarsely explained bluntly to Naruto for reasons alien to him. Then he made another a set seals not bothering to wait for a reply. Hands fully presented a series of mutated blue grasses spontaneously ruptured from the ground rocketing up easily ten feet into the air. At the basis of the grass was a circular hole like indention that contained a pulsated oak tree that towered over the valley eerily.

Naruto struggled for a time trying to overpower the Hokage' jutsu but stopped shortly after noting that it seemed to tighten the more he thrashed about. Struggling out of the picture Naruto flipped his flexed his fingers and tried to undo some of the invisible knots of his flax binding.

Hiroshima took notice to Naruto's struggle seriously considering ending the boy now while he was vulnerable which as a ninja would be the most reasonably desired action. To take out an unknown before something negative happened. Sadly, to Hiroshima's misfortune ending the boy now with this jutsu was not possible, he simply did not have the energy to spare. His only choice was to contain and exhaust the blonde-haired person to unconsciousness while bound and even that was not possible since in might cloud Madara enough time to escape.

That just left him containment.

--

Naruto hooked his fingers around in the vines searching for some sort of knothole or groove he could fit his fingers into that could allow him to ply off the overgrown weeds.

Hiroshima looked up visibly tired and strained. "It is pointless gaki", he garbled. "These roots are not knotted or sown together as you might think. Think of this as a fertile more tame form of a boa constrictor", Hiroshima daunted grimly. Naruto's back gave short spasm, another bone poked through his robe this one with eye level should he look down.

Naruto screeched a grunt between his teeth as another vine took its place around his two-foot torso effectively covering his entire chest and abdominal area with the green rope.

Hiroshima inwardly frowned at Naruto continued struggled and pursed his lips when his sensed the tentacles retraining Naruto has armed begin to decompose. All he had accomplished was to drain his own chakra stores and test a boy's stamina.

"_I couldn't have chosen a worse jutsu for this situation"_. The Hokage deliberated bitterly. _"The chakra strain is terrible and the damn gaki hasn't vented out any of his chakra yet. Either he's stupid or toying with me but either way I need to wrap things up quickly….maybe"._

Naruto gritted his teeth. _"This shits squeezing the hell out of me"! _Naruto all but screamed internally_. _Another grunt escaped his lips as he felt a sharp string of crackles in his chest signaling a broken, shattered or fractured rib. Blood bounced from his lips coating it like lipstick as another set of crunches resounded from his prone body.

Hiroshima in the space of a quarter of a second; switched places with his hands forming an 'X' on the ground with his arms in front of him.

Naruto's eyes expanded nearly popping from their respective sockets under the pain eclipsing his body. His skin paled under the strain and his rabid blood loss and another lone bone had pierced through his robes that just barley nicked his left lung just beside his heart. The bone throbbing through his robes by the rhythm of his heart beat. Naruto's chin abruptly fell to his chest his neck to make himself more comfortable and loosen some of the tenderness around his collarbone, eyes closed.

The Hokage stood still his head searching for the Uchiha while he continually surged chakra through the ground with less effort than before to save chakra. Replacing the hungry channel of his life energy for more cultivated control, so now instead of trying to crush Naruto to death via constriction he was flailing his vines close to the ground playing a one sided game of ping-pong taking advantage of Naruto momentary vulnerability. Lowering the strain on his own body exponentially by shortening his vines to seven feet and played close to the soil.

Hiroshima spoke up in a partial effort to keep from expelling more of his precious force. "Tell you what gaki", he started slowly. Naruto groggily bobbed his head toward Hiroshima. "Give up now and I promise you a painless death". Hiroshima promised aloud.

Naruto felt the vines loosen as Hiroshima forsook power for conservation of energy to keep hold of his quote and so took siege of it in a fit of panic by surging gallons of his chakra urgently. He looked dead into Hiroshima's eyes his own eyes raged with the flames of defiance all the while.

Hiroshima frowned and flinched at the sudden pulse of charka Naruto exerted. A slim sphere of brownish goop twirled around Naruto escaping from his pores and digging into the ground at the Hokage's feet before coalesce of soften rock upset his balance knocking him over and deeper into the gorge. The fall caused him to uproot his hands from the turf setting Naruto free.

Naruto fell to the ground squeezing at his sides from the throbbing pain he endured. His cloak matted, drenched in his own blood and sweat. His face was red from abuse and his bones still protruded from his skin.

Naruto blinked and groaned as he sat himself down on the floor. "Never in my damn life would I have thought that getting injured actually hurt this fucking much." Naruto panted on the ground and groaned some more, dancing a shaky, green hand over his tender areas.

--Twenty minutes later--

Naruto looked up and over the edge of where Hiroshima had fallen and started his way down to catch up to him. "Hokage or not you fuckers owe me a fucking robe"! Naruto fumed between his teeth while tenderly making his way down.

Hiroshima back up and about saw Naruto climbing down towards him anger evident on the blonde-gaki's face. "Kami damnit, what the hell does a kage have to do to get rid of a damn Iwa flunky"!He growled to himself before making a muton bushin which than re-trapped Naruto in the same bind as before.

"WHAT THE FUCK"! Naruto screamed in frustration when he was caught in the same technique for the second time that day.

Hiroshima spun around with a short lived smirk drawn to the site of the crater that was suppose to fit the red-eyed Nin's body only to find it empty. A solitary ball of flesh draped from a stalagmite inside the cove still attached to a stringy cord.

"Shit", he swore audibly at the prospect of Madara getting away. However, that foreboding feeling shimmered away an unnatural mist wafted over the gorge.

"My eye", a ghastly voice moaned. Hiroshima looked into the crater he traced Madara to before his clone spun his fiber web on Naruto. "Madara-kun, you sound like you are in pain", the Senjuu flaunted to the crippled Uchiha from within the red bog careful to hide his injuries as unnoticeably as he could spare to muster.

Madara though masked by the fog appeared saturated in pain and anger. "My eye" he echoed again his blood still flown freely from its socket. His voice rebounded in the gorge, the malice in his tone so palpable Hiroshima himself felt his throat suddenly dry up like a well in the dry season.

Naruto rolled his eyes thinking choice words revolving around '_melodramatic clichés'_ while he tried to shake free of his bind. He managed to snap part of the extra strength growth while the Senjuu occupied himself with Madara, apparently the bushin wasn't quite as reserved as the leader and was expelling more chakra than necessary and the dumb fuck was tightening his arms and legs instead of his core and head not even his hands were covered. That meant he could still use half seals.

Madara made another call this time from in front of Hiroshima deeply cutting into the cheeks of both Naruto and the Senjuu almost nicking their cheekbone. Hiroshima and Naruto felt a wintry chilliness roll down their vertebrae and numb at what had just happened. They hadn't even felt the pierce of their flesh until their own blood rained down their sides.

**--RMS—**

**Sub element manipulation poll: **Main elements: earth, water, wind

Glass/ice - This one is a bit iffy because of the ice elements constant use, but I could do it!

Sand- That's Gara's gig….But it would be easy to put in.

Weather manipulation- spontaneous lightning [rain] storms or hail effects good for terrain advantage and intimidation)

Dust manipulation: If Gara can have sand, I will bastardize my own version on a smaller scale! Besides that shits everywhere annoying the elderly. I say it is time to put it to good use!

Mud (swamps/ect.)- That's right mud….If you could see what my minds sees you would see it too and don't call me on it being a mix of doton and suiton! This one would feed the kid inside me greatly….do not taunt happy fun cat!

**-Poll ends AFTER next chapters so vote now-**


	11. Psychotic Rendition

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, I would live on a nice beach with helper monkeys at my disposal._

**A/N-**Now, I welcome you to the next fabulous addition of my ever so wonderful story Ramen My Savor! Quick notes and changes I've made concerning visual criteria:

When the Fox or summons are talking I'll still use bold print though there won't be all cap locked. When I went back to read over my story -_I'm_ k_ind of shocked at all the small grammar errors I made_- I found the capitalizing eye straining and hard to follow. I'll be revising the other chapter accordingly.

Now, for the poll…. one winner will be announced next chapter and at the bottom of this one. Remember Naruto's wife has been decided… his flings in between are still up for grabs. So get to it and review your vote!

However, I ramble let the good times begin!

**RMS**

_Last time:_

_Madara made another call this time from in front of Hiroshima. Time froze as a cut deeply seeded into the cheeks of both Naruto and the Senjuu almost nicking through the layer of muscles masking their cheekbone. Hiroshima and Naruto felt a wintry chilliness roll down their vertebrae. Numb at what had just happened. They hadn't even felt the pierce of their flesh until their own blood rained down their sides._

--

Naruto's eyes widened at the sickening sliver that befell his cheeks in unison to the Senjuu. Then he blinked a couple of times as he felt himself fall from his flax binding.

"So fast," Naruto silently alleged aloud. Madara had managed to splice both the he and the brunette. While Naruto suspended 7ft in the air restrained and Hiroshima who was 14ft from Naruto _on the ground_ able bodied. At the exact, same time in the exact same place.

The black haired Uchiha mumbled something incoherently. And began to trudge toward the Hokage at a sedate pace. Closing in on the awe struck Senjuu. The red-eyed warrior plucked, a giant Fuma Shurikan that he had held in his hands back into a storage seal on his body. He then mimicked this action, placing a sharp wire he had coiled around his forearms back into his seals as well.

--

Naruto hit the ground silently. He shook his head and wondered how he managed to get loose.

Naruto wobbled and shirked this invading thought. However, curiosity got the better of him and he drove off focus. Carefully, Naruto turned his cranium behind him, to see what it was that happened to the vine that restrained him moments ago.

What he saw was nothing the likes of which he suspected.

The jungle like vine that Hiroshima used, had a rather large indented black colored notch at its tip. As Naruto turned toward it, the small little nick that chopped at the tip not to far away, from where his face was moments ago was rapidly decaying at a frantic pace.

Naruto placed a hand next to his cheek where Madara had cut him not to long ago.

"Holly shit! ... Acid?" Naruto mouthed feeling a tingle on his face. He traced a finger where his whisker marks was held, feeling a new set of grooves on _both_ sides of his cheeks.

--

Madara finally within range, knocked Hiroshima out his stupor, delivering a thunderous roundhouse kick, at the Kage with his left leg. He nailed Hiroshima right across the face. The power of the blow caused the fire shadow to spiral ten feet away and hit the dirt. None too gracefully at that either.

"Wake up Senjuu! Face me like the sniveling poor excuse of a leader, I know you to be!" Madara growled still holding his leg used moments ago poised in the air.

Hiroshima worked up to his feet quickly barrel rolling up as hit the ground. The cycloptic Madara grinned daftly and blurred out of sight. Without a hint of movement to even the trained eye. Hiroshima cursed bitterly. He had never been good at calculating that damnable Uchiha's attack patterns.

The shadow slunk his chakra levels to conceal himself slightly. With Madara's at only fifty percent visibility, his fancy foot works perception would be off. His attack, which Hiroshima had faced many times in the past was one of the few Hiroshima was truly pressed to counter.

Madara's speed was inhuman and relied heavily on his Sharigan to keep control of his movements. With only one eye, the Uchiha would need to use some sort of chakra sensory type jutsu in conjunction to his blood limit. If he wished to accurately, foretell Hiroshima's movements and watch his own progress while moving at such speeds. Because, running at such a rate distorted his visual conception making it difficult to see exactly where or when he was going.

"Always with the tricks eh?" Hiroshima said loudly hoping to bait Madara into giving away his position. "What don't you come out and face me like a man traitor! Prove to me that you got cohunes! You rat bastard!"

Silence reigned.

"Shit," Hiroshima elegantly spewed taking a basic guarding stance. His goading had failed. Perhaps he was to direct? But then again it had never been his strong suit. He was always more of an executor than a setter anyway.

An unnatural wind wavered over the tree line. It coated the outside of the trench of the valley, chilling Hiroshima to the bone. The wind died just as fast as it came. In its place, blood red clouds loomed overhead. The clouds strategically floated. At a swift, aberrant rapidity and blocked out the sun, obstructing Hiroshima's line of sight considerably. The shadows of the valley lengthened and covered much of bordering walls in shadowed darkness.

"Back to the basics then," Hiroshima said double taking behind him and placing his hands in the ram. Madara was playing this by the beat of his own drum this time around it seemed. Goading him any further would just give away his position…

Hiroshima sneakily transferred some of his chakra into the ground around him, to make it harder for the Uchiha to pin point his position by dispersing his chakra at a slightly wider radius. That in the kage's own words should be enough get any blows that Madara chucked at him, to be off a couple of degrees.

Having set himself up, the Senjuu began the arduous task of locating the Uchiha.

"Above? No. Behind? No. To my Left? No. Right? No… Then that means BELOW!" Hiroshima roared and quickly changed to a snake seal and called, **"Mokuton: Symbiotic earthen guard release!" **He murmured and created a temporarily sentient root out soil, and randomly intertwined plant growths. He acted merely on impulse alone.

--

Naruto felt an odd ramble at his feet.

"An earthquake?" Naruto asked to himself. He was nippy to strike that deliberation as the ground beneath him overturned at the brink of his muse.

Naruto jumped back and his eyes dilated at what he saw. The Hokage garbed fellow, had conjured up another one of his fetishes. This one however, took the bodily form of serpent.

The blonde-man scratched the back of his nervously at the giant serpent structure.

"Not sure if this guy is worth the hassle anymore…" He said with an estranged grin.

"And what the hell is it with this guys fucking vine fetish? What a kink," he chuckled to himself. At that note, Naruto slowly tiptoed away from the scene in a cartoony fashion. A bloody piano found its way on to the scene skimming through high notes for effect.

Just as Naruto was about to make the final break for it, the fake reptile shifted his head. As its head made its move and finished its' crunchy pause, its shrubby maw opened. In its mouth was the craggy form of Madara Uchiha.

"How the hell did he get in there?" Naruto yelled surprised at the turn of events. Then just like that. Quick as tick, Naruto had redrawn himself into the scrimmage. Using a bit of stealth Naruto took to the shadows and found a nice place he could gaze at the duo behind an odd rock formation.

He no longer felt the need to involve himself. These chakra titans, might very well cost him more than his robe if brushed them both he wrong way. "Come to think of it I already have. Haven't I?" Naruto mused, recollecting the attack that started the affair.

--

The first _true _Uchiha as he would have himself known teetered in place scanning through his deceptively effective jutsu arsenal. His lone eye wormed angrily about the _snakes_ woody innards'.

"H-how," Madara panted. The Nin's body was covered with purple bruises and sickly red-yellow scratches from earlier frays. His raven hair matted down in sweat. It felt uncomfortable and disgusting on the red-eyed man's pale complexion. The wood project had even begun to secrete a sappy fluid that stung and burned his flesh on contact. Greedily it added to the tolled additions wearing down his body.

Hiroshima raised his nose to Madara. The raven haired Nin in returned bared empty fangs at the Senjuu.

"_**How dare he mock me?"**_ Madara internally raged._ "__**I shall not be vanquished**__!"_

After he fixed his gaze, Hiroshima licked his tired lips and replied in kind.

"You let your guard down!" Hiroshima responded as snarky as possible. He refused to give the Uchiha the satisfaction that he had only caught him on blind luck and impulse alone_. _And getting an emotional advantage over his opponents was also a plus.

'_Best to leave the rancid spoils to rot amongst themselves,' _Hiroshima thought to himself without any self-endowed fault. Then he jumped off the ground onto the stationary serpents head.

A shaky voice rang out of the snake's mouth.

"I-It won't e-nd li-li-like thissss," Madara hissed aloud. "_I_ will **not** be ended. _I_ w**on't** be denied. **I **_**won't**_** be slain by the likes of you. I REFUSE TO BECOME A MEMORY!" **He roared flaring his chakra hectically. The ethereal blue energy becomes visible lashing out at anything that was to close to him.

--

Naruto blinked, in recognition to the massive pools of chakra that man was playing with.

Critically Naruto sighed, "Okay, you're angry…but why the hell are you putting out so much chakra?" Naruto wondered to himself almost benightedly, for unbeknownst to him the odd formation that he had claimed began to glow…

--

Hiroshima struggled to stand straight under the enormous pressure that Madara was exerting from his chakra round up alone. _"Maybe playing with _his_ emotions was a bad thin_g…" Hiroshima regretted. Nonetheless, what's done is done. Furthermore, aside murder, he couldn't fix that lapse.

"**It will not end like this Senjuu!"** He repeated for the umpteenth time.

The plant user relaxed his shoulders and began to form the set of seals that would hopefully conclude things, before they go out of hand. That chakra vented was a variable Hiroshima did not appreciate nor foresee.

Hiroshima placed his hands in the tiger seal. **"Mokuton: Hebi retaliation no jutsu!" **He yelled out putting in as much chakra as he could. Then like a drunkard. The snake, constructs' mouth grew barbs all along the inside of its form. Its' pikes glistening with its special sap. Then just as fast as the spikes grew the snakes' mouth began to shut.

"**I will not become a memory!"** Madara screeched as the mouths of the snake hits its mark and drove into the bodyof the traitor.

--

The nasty grinding and crunching of wood on bone was as nauseating to the ears as it was the nose. Blood splattered and flew, decorating the valley walls with a fresh coat of crimson. The mixed smells and ironic screams of frustration oddly ringing a sense of harmonic foreboding to Naruto's ears…

A warm sense of belonging seemed to creep into his being at the satanic display he watched with anticipation. Naruto even began to smile. As to why he smiled? He was not sure himself. It just felt right. Naruto's head began to bob to the sweet musical screams, though of whom he wasn't sure. Nor did he really care.

It was as if some force had willed over him. A force that sought to comfort him, by giving him joy at through others suffering and anguish. He didn't comply or resist, only fell deeper in tune with his beckoning, his eyes closed and devoid to his surroundings.

And the runes abroad glowed all the more brighter.

**-----------------RMS---------------------**

**How did you guys like the chapter? Your critic would be much appreciated, but flamers… you can stuff it where the sun doesn't shine. If its not critically relevant flames will be ignored. If you liked the chapter tell me what you like about so I can duplicate it in the future. If you didn't tell me why. So, I can fix it. **

Okay, I am looking for a BETA; lord knows I need one to help me with proof reading. If anyone is interested P.M me

-_Note that I am looking for someone experienced with desirable grammatical presence that is not heavily biased or opinionated. And also willing to comply with my random updating_-.

Now for the poll results:

Teen

Ino-2

Sakura-3

Hinata-6

Fem. Haku-3

Nii Yuugito-10

Tenten-2

Adult

Anko-5

Kurenai-7

Princess Yuki-3

The winner of the adult poll was… with 7 votes, Kurenai!

Moreover, the status for the teen poll will be announced next chapter. Along with a final a chapter curtain call, poll…

As always Review, and enjoy the rest of your day!


	12. Konoha inbound

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**A/N- I know I said I would ignore these, but hey it's my first flame!**

**(**Anonymous**) Z said:**

_Wtf? YOu made a single battle last over 6 chapters?_.

Serioulsy ** up...

Especially the whole summary of the whole story in one chapter

**My response: **

**Um, I don't know what you were reading there. However, there were **_**two **__**fights **_**in the last six chapters that **_**linked **_**into each other. Both those fight by the way only lasted **_**four **_**chapters**_** total**__._

**As for summarizing the entire story in one chapter. When did I do that? I just gave a brief overview of the situation of the stories beginning as not to throw everyone off at the start. An overview that I'm not following to diligently now, and am likely to delete in the future. I mean how much of what happened in the overview has happened now? I'm writing this story on whim so much of what I said earlier is rapidly changing to fit my moods at the time.**

**Follow along and pay attention- or there's 195,979 other stories at the moment you can read instead. I know I'm not Shakespeare or one of the better authors on the site. Nevertheless, I am doing my best. Moreover, I am not forcing my literature down your throat. If you think, you can do better be my guest. IF you turn out better then me, congratulations, now bug off. **

**Until you pick up a pen and write an actual story yourself -stay relevantly critical to the object on hand. **

**(Author's notice)**

**_On occasion,_ I will reply to other flames and they will be responded in kind, so I am posting a warning. You attack my story and me; I will draw you into the open to defend it!**

**-------RMS--------**

_Last time:_

_A warm sense of belonging seemed to creep into his being at the satanic display as he watched with anticipation. Naruto even began to smile. As to why he smiled? He was not sure himself. It just felt right. Naruto's head began to bob to the sweet musical screams, though of whom he wasn't sure. Nor did he really care._

_It was as if some force had willed over him. A force that sought to comfort him, by giving him joy at through others suffering and anguish. He didn't comply or resist, only fell deeper in tune with his beckoning, his eyes closed and devoid to his surroundings._

_And the runes abroad glowed all the more brighter._

--

Hiroshima exhaled. Finally, he finished his task, and defeated his rival.

Madara's twisted body lay stilled, in the massive maw of the serpentine flora. His arms cruelly locked in unnatural positions. His left arm turned inversely on its self, wound around his back. While his right arm suffered a wretched chicken, wing overturn- and dangled still on his stomach- having cycled around the back of his head. His face was indescribable- so thickly layered in his crimson ooze.

Hiroshima cleaned the glistening sweat his forehead- running over it with his sleeve. His breath heavily labored and his body felt heavy. He felt like gravity was trying to make him its bitch.

Hiroshima's hand fell out of the snake seal, from the exhaustion that began to plague him. He, like many shinobi before him had been running heavily on adrenaline, and as his flush of energy spaced him- he began to feel weary.

The kage daftly re-raised his hands back into the snake seal to cancel his jutsu. So long as he held the snake's mouth, shut. It would continue to leach off his chakra at a rapid- yet consistent pace. It was partially the reason why he felt so tired.

"D-damn it, t-to long- I've keep it up to long." Hiroshima panted. He frowned grimly, beginning to see spots, "**Mokuton: K-KAI**!"

As quickly, as he said it the great snake began to unravel. The great roots and vines that made up its carcass cascading to the ground quickly- and its' poisonous embellishments disinagrated. It no longer had enough chakra flowing through it to maintain its artificial form.

As the last of the great plants fell, Hiroshima having already deported from his fake summon searched for the remains of the Uchiha.

"He's like a cockroach," Hiroshima grumbled. "Smash it pieces, he just gets back up. And is ready to go given time. Slit its throat. You stain your skin with its guts- only to find it in you supper later on. No, this time its not over until I have his head on a pike, and have burned his body to oblivion!" Hiroshima finished darkly. His spotted vision searched for the nuke Nin, the way only a professional could.

--

Uzumaki Naruto was oblivious to these happenings, still standing behind the glowing stones. However, the screams and crunching had past. He still fell into step with a phantom tune. His golden blonde hair bouncing gracefully around his soft face- his skin seemed to glow porcelain white, contradicting his tanned complexion. His eyes glowed a luminescent crystal blue- giving it an unearthly appearance.

The strange nature formation in front of him began changed its glow. For a time it glowed a warm, vibrant yellow. Warm and charming, yet char and malicious at its core- it formed a contradicting spectacle of auras.

However, that changed. The once vibrant _kind _colors became a hectic crimson.

An outside perspective would show that the rock formation was in reality a slowly crumbled Stonehenge. In the center of the circle of rocky pillars there, tattooed into the ground was an emblem- of a rapidly decaying creature. It ravenously flailed around nine power-crazed extremities- though its depiction lay stationary.

A giant chakra constructed pupil like hologram appeared. Silently keyed into the center of a glowing symbol in the ground undisturbed and unnoticed it came.

The eye looked around methodically. It scanned over the rocks, the grasses, even the dew drops yet to dry from the early mornings. Briskly it surged its red chakra over the land to drink in every detail. Finally, seemingly content. It withdrew its presence from abroad. And its crimson pupil came into focus on Naruto.

Naruto still gently shook his head to the unheard musician. Unmindful, if not utterly, unconscious to the giant eye that stared at him that glared daggers up and down his spine- with a slightly meaningful expression, in its slitted pupil.

The great red eye, replaced itself with the grotesque mussel of a canine. Its maw continually dripped saliva like a never-ending fountain of water.

"_**Sacrifices...Kill him! Kill him NOW!"**_

Naruto's eyes snapped open. An intoxicating feeling swelled up within him. His once blue eyes turned a sickly yellow and his pupil cross-slit. Then it turned ashy brown causing his eyes to form a diagonal slit. Followed by a crimson cyclone of bloody red, his irises transfigured in Saturn rings- this pattern continued for several moments until his pupils finally settled on his regular cerulean blue eyes-hinted with a glassy texture. However, they seemed to shine an ominous red in the shadows of the stone foliage.

--

Hiroshima diligently searched for the remains of the first _true_ Uchiha with much difficulty. His eye began to droop and he felt heavier by the moment.

"To many soldier pills," he groaned and upchucked into the dirt.

Soldier pills stimulated the body's chakra production by an insanely unnatural amount. Taking more then two in one sitting is just asking for chakra induced suicidal combustion. The fact that he took three in quick succession with a time span of one hour was unhealthy. It took two hours for the body to naturally-break down the chemicals concentrated in just one of the pills.

Hiroshima's body was working on over time- and nearing chakra exhaustion still after all of the artificial boosts. That was not helping.

His body was eating itself to produce the fuel necessary to further break down the chemicals in the pills. He didn't even realize his body was devouring itself. His cadaver was still high on the endorphins of the fight moments ago along with adrenaline rush that it had begun to reconcile.

Hiroshima took off his headgear as he began to feel rather faint- and the extra weight on his head was giving him a headache. He got up to one knee and looked around longingly for Madara's corpse.

"If I could just find it…" Hiroshima whispered. Then he relieved his bowels on the bloodstained ground again.

"F-fuck it," He coughed. "I need medical attention." He hacked some crispy bits onto the ground. "Where the hell is the village," Hiroshima said in a daze. His world was starting to spin, and he was feeling significantly lighter.

Hiroshima staggered up to his feet and snapped to attention. "Shouldn't have gone solo," he muttered in regret. When he demanded this mission-, it was under the pretense. That he was the only one who could face Madara. Though it was true, he was the strongest in terms of ability. Having his brother by would have made things infinitely easier.

"First I misuse and misgauge my chakra usage on some random variable. One of which I shouldn't have bothered with in the first place. I don't consider the probability of an outside interference. Then I let my banter get the better of me and fail to watch my supplementary usage… Hiroshima you fucked up this time," He groaned mutely.

"_**Kill him," **_a ravenous voice cooed from behind him.

The kage's chin snapped up, at the sound of the malicious voice. The bloodlust it reeked was palpable to the deepest of senses. It made familiar chill _bang_ up his spine. It made him feel, _off balance._

"Today's just not my day. Is it?" He asked to the sky. He looked up as though he awaited an answer, and then chuckled mildly. "Now I now what a corned tigers feels like after its' been stuffed with tranquilizers- waiting for the end to come as the poachers zoom into its den," Hiroshima said in acceptance.

"Seems that the traitors' toys are coming out to play…" he finished mistily. Lazily he turned his head behind him, as that was where the source of the voice had come. Though what he saw wasn't the demon he repelled naught days before, but a familiar _nuke Nin_…

--

Blonde locks craggily made their way up a cobbled stone path. He masterfully glided shakily though the path wrought from the power struggle between the Kage levels Nin. His eyes remained closed, and his head continued to bob to the invisible lyrics.

The once entranced beat started a choir of one. The singer was obviously female by nature of her dulcet tone. She lulled through a loop of complex levels and notes half hummed- half sung in a highly addictive fashion. Her voice was sweeter than candy and softer than the fluffy clouds of vapor.

Naruto lost in thought began to see the beginning of his belonging. The figure had her back turned to him, but he blushed at what he could see.

She had long fluffed red hair with a silky sheen. That reached down to the middle of her back. The woman wore a rather seductive Kimono, embroidered with black lilies and white lilacs, and dark red roses and there blue thorns.

Each color beautifully harmonized her unblemished fair skin. Her dress appeared from the back to have a deep scented V- neck in the front, accentuating her buxom breasts. Just visible from the side, though covered with clothe as well.

Much to Naruto's discontent.

Along the middle of her back, was nice view of her flesh. Held nimbly together in the way of a corset, the silk cords dyed a deep crimson complimenting her hair. Around her waist was a tightly bound bow, that furthered accentuated his bodies hourglass curves. The Kimono reached just below her thighs and showed some leg. The rest of her was bare, though she had a strange fold over her eyes. For reasons Naruto couldn't nullify himself.

Salivating at the spot, Naruto didn't notice the malicious grin on his muse. A smirk hidden by a veil of shadow sporadically dispersed around her soft, rosy, lips.

Just well enough to hide her fangs from view…

--

Hiroshima shifted his gaze to the boy. Or was he a man? Hiroshima shook his head; his sight felt distorted from strain. Thinking back, that wasn't a side affect of chakra exhaustion. Was it? It was true that they effects of chakra exhaustion varied from person to person. But was visual distortion ever recorded in the medical books? He wasn't sure, and repented it.

"**Kill him NOW!"**

Naruto head beamed to attention and his eyes snapped open and locked on Hiroshima. Gone were his innocent blue eyes. Replaced by the familiar crimson slits, that he became feared and respected for in the future. His body grew an ethereal crimson coat. That hung translucently on his bare flesh, almost skin tight.

Hiroshima took a shaky fighting stance. He knew what the boy was here for now. He knew that this would be his last stand. However he be damned if he didn't take the possessed child with him!

Naruto reached into his back pouch and grabbed a hand full of not kunai, or Shurikan, but senbon needles. A weapon his tuned in to master after the death of the late Tsunade of the future. Each individually coated with an over-dosage paralysis formula and special snakes venom.

"About time you showed your true colors gaki!" Hiroshima yelled with false bravado.

Naruto trapped his gaze to Hiroshima's and gave him a throaty growl.

A light bulb went off in Hiroshima's head.

"What's wrong gaki? _Demon_ got your tongue?"

Naruto blinked. Then he dropped down to all fours.

Hiroshima grinned. If this was a demonic influence, then this might not be his last fight as he thought prior. If he could safely get into range, he could suppress the demon man, and end him in one move.

His thoughts were cut off there. For without further wait or response Naruto struck.

Hiroshima's eyes sparkled with dry tears. Naruto fist fully ingrained into his stomach with an equally large fist print stuck out the side of the shadows spine. The kage was too exhausted to counter.

Naruto held that position, and then turned his fist over twisting the kages flesh uncomfortably. Hiroshima fell now to his knees and cradled his belly with his arms.

Hiroshima got over his momentary stun and tried to get up. However, his body wouldn't comply. He tried to conduct his chakra. However, it felt goofy and sluggish. Unlike the powerful misty yet relaxing energy he was a tuned to.

"Wh-what did you do to me?" Hiroshima asked. He started to feel hot and dehydrated. His pores slowly blistered with the condensed heat that somehow found itself trapped inside them. And his eyes felt even heavier.

Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment, and pulled a blood-covered senbon needle into view. The kage looked up to meet the view of Naruto's projectile. A look of accepted understanding crossed his coursed face.

The spots that speckled his vision now blotched- his sight with foreign conception. The shadows from the corners of his peripheral zoned into the cores of his eye-and seemed to root about to its own whimsy.

Hiroshima's body finally caved in and let the darkness claim him.

"_**KILL HIM NOW!" **_The voice said exasperatedly. Literally- it seethed with anticipation.

Naruto tilted his red transfigured head to the side and looked over the unconscious shadow. He contemplated for a moment then dropped his senbon. He quietly walked into step along the kage's bloody path and rested both his hands along the side of his neck.

Naruto could go no further than that. For as he moved to finish his bloody task- his body was griped in sands.

"**Gaki, stop messing with my timeline!" **Growled a sinister monotone voice from behind him.

Naruto turned his head. His eyes flashed red, and his lips thinned.

The brown clad figure standing behind him. The Gara clone raised his left hand into the air. The effect was immediate. Naruto felt the comforting energy leave him indiscriminately, and completely. In addition, a vortex of sand turned into a giant hourglass churned into the Sandman's hand.

Banter stopped at that point. The figures sandy features were-screwed into anger. Naruto looked around confused, finally knocked out of his faint stupor.

The deity opened the lid to the giant hourglass that floated over his hand. It easily trumped Naruto in size three times over. The clone opened the lid to the glass-and made an upwards 'L' with his forearm and bicep. The sand obeyed and Naruto- eyes widened levitated into the air and dropped into the glasses' open lid.

The sand acted independently at that point. And created a solid lid over the glass before the official lid came into play over it. The under covered- covering the exposed lid. Then it began to drip faithfully over Naruto's sprawled form inside of the looking glass.

Naruto silently banged and screamed. He threw jutsu after jutsu- to escape his suffocating shell. Nothing weakened the glass. Nothing strengthened the glass. It was like a wall of psychic energy that didn't give him any leeway.

The Gara look-alike gaze Naruto a crazed grin and snapped his fingers together. Causing the sand trapped in the bottom of the hourglass to suck back into Naruto's vacated compartment.

Naruto continued to suck and scream out the sand. The deity simply looked on satisfied.

As Naruto finally collapsed from view- hidden under the weight of the sand, the deity looked over to Hiroshima.

"**You were meant to die here human….just not by his hand," **he said subtly. The cloned figure lifted his hand into the shape of an 'L' once more. The sands greedily complied- and stacked themselves over the kage's prone corpse.

"**Now how did that technique go again…"**He said drifted in thought. **" Ah, now I remember; SAND BURRIAL!" **He growled-and clenched his open fist.

The sand exploded over the kages body, destroying it indefinitely. Never to tell its secrets to what it had witnessed to anyone.

The redhead raked his fingers over his face methodically- in transcending contemplation. He destroyed a body that was suppose to remain in artificial comatose err _preservation_ for many years to come.

"_**This complicates things…**_**"I was a fool to allow him into the past….never again. May your **_**present**_** fate stimulate your growth Uzumaki."** The copy finished- cracking the stains of the glass and letting its shards fall to place.

"**But before you leave, I believe I owe you something…"** He finished- talking to himself with sour grin and grasped a nearby beetle from the ground. **"Insects…how fitting,"** He said cryptically crushing the bug in his grip and pulled out the eye of a chameleon and the feather of a raven from _nowhere_- crushing them together before littering its dust over the hour glass.

"**The strength of the beetle, the wisdom of the raven, and the stealth of the chameleon…bloody interesting combination if I say so myself." **He said with a chortle-and hazed from sight.

--

(????)

Naruto awoke with a start. He was in the middle of a village. Which one, though? It was as damp as it was humid, and loitered with people. A cool breeze seemed to balance out the hot climate, rustling through the tree leaves…

"Where am I?" He said quietly. "The last thing I remember is that wonderful vocalist…and then I was trapped in sand. _I'm kicking that guy's ass the next time I see him._" He thought to himself-stretching out his kinks.

Naruto turned his head, feeling something coming toward him.

"Sir, are you okay?" Asked a brunette-she looked around the age of 16 or 17.

Naruto ruffled up a bit, feeling a tinge sore. He looked up to the girl in front of him He couldn't help but feel that she felt familiar somehow…

"I'm f-fine," Naruto winced.

"Are you sure?" She sounded worried.

Naruto was covered with… sand. From head to toe he was- blanketed in sand. He had deep gouges all around him, and his hair with thickly covered in feathers. His arms were carved around his forearms. He had one big indention on both arms- one in the shape of a stripped tail the other of a mandible. With droplets of blood, _gushing_ out of his arms every so often-that made the brunette worry further.

Naruto gave her a deceptive grin.

"No need to worry," he assured, "I've seen worse."

The girl bit her lip.

"Well at least let me take you to the hospital…"

Naruto shook his head. He deemed such an extrusion unnecessary.

"How about a warm meal," she asked. "It would make me feel better to know that you were at least well feed."

Naruto gave her a curious look.

"This warm meal wouldn't include hard biscuits and liverwurst. Would it?" Naruto questioned making the hidden notion toward hospital food.

The brunette let out a giggle.

"Nope, just good old fashion ramen," she smiled to him.

Naruto sighed, "You're not going to leave me alone until I have this meal. Are you?"

She smirked at him playfully, "Nope."

Naruto sighed again in defeat.

"Lead the way…err what's your name?"

The girl blushed, "O' sorry, my names Ayame. Yours?"

Naruto studied her for a moment. She felt familiar- but this place reeked of a ninja village. Dare he be honest?

"Naruto…" He said slowly.

Ayame gave him an odd look.

"What are the odds," she grumbled.

"What was that?" Naruto asked.

"O' nothing, now come on chows getting cold." She said with another smile-and helped Naruto to his feet. Naruto obliged gratefully. He didn't feel as sore as before-strangely. He wondered why-but deliberated it better to reminisce on later.

There was free feed a foot!

--

(Unknown location)

"**Dosha, I take it your task was a success?"**

A redhead dressed in -a familiar brown garb, which chalked sand from his face smirked.

"**Mission completed…Kage-sama."**

The red-eyes of the first figure bound in spirals.

"_**I will not become a memory…" **_

_**--**_

"Thank you for the meal Ayame-san!" Naruto called out from over his shoulder- leaving the shop. "And an extra thanks for letting me use you shower!"

Teuchi the actual owner of Ichiruka, the ramen stand that Naruto had the graces of sucking dry. Gave Ayame a rather dark glance, "Ayame-chan…your little friend just robbed us out of a three moths stock of ramen. This is coming out of your pay!"

Ayame stuttered a bit. Then she spotted the familiar blonde mop coming back towards them.

"Oi! Ayame-san, Teuchi-san, I forgot to tip you guys for the free meal," Naruto grinned and patted his full stomach.

"_You better tip us you damn- *oomph*." _Teuchi grumbled, until Ayame elbowed him in the gut.

"No tips necessary Naruto-san. They were free meals remember."Ayame said sweetly.

Naruto frowned. And Teuchi shot his daughter a dirty look.

"I know I just feel bad for eating so much of the stuff," Naruto grumbled sheepishly. He calmly reached into his back pocked and pulled out half the bills in it. "Take this as a token of my appreciation," Naruto said uncertainly- a large wad of cash held loosely to Teuchi.

The middle-aged ramen chief spluttered inarticulately, and after ignoring a glare from Ayame. He accepted the money from Naruto.

"Pleasure doing business with Naruto-kun," Teuchi said. "Feel free to come by whenever you like!"

Naruto gave Teuchi a brilliant smile. "O' and before I take off… where can I find a place to stay?"

Teuchi glanced at him. "If you're new here you can take it up with Hokage for residence. He offers a full three months free rent stay to all new citizens."

The blonde looked at him searching for hints of dishonesty. He found none and after discussing the location of the Hokage-a large tower in the center of town. He went on his way. After he gave a hearty goodbye to the kind, ramen cooks. His eyes lingering back longer then they should…

(Ten minutes later)

Naruto walked to Hokage Tower without much difficulty. The guards seemed to stare at his quizzically as he walked by, but allowed him entry after a little persuasion.

_Flash back:_

"_Halt," came the animatronics tones of two white masked figures in perfect sync._

_Naruto paused as requested. He took it upon himself to inspect the figures before him. The one on his left, obviously female had the strangest purple-hair. She bore a cat mask. The one on his left was more of an Indigo, with a strange snake symbol on her mask. _

"_What is your purpose for visiting the tower civilian?" The Anbu asked._

_While normally, they did not stop civilians at the door. This blonde one had a strong presence of chakra on him. Meaning he was not of the regular trade._

"_Just looking for a short audience with the Hokage, masked-sans," Naruto replied automatically._

_The women behind the masks squinted. "What is your purpose for this audience?"_

_Naruto thought for a moment they replied._

"_I'm looking for a place to stay."_

"_Then I'm afraid we can not allow entry. You must make an appointment and the central registration building across town, next to the Nara compound first. Then wait for a messenger bird to alert you for the time of your meeting."_

_Naruto tilted his head to the side. That simply would not do…_

_Flashback end:_

Two Anbu lay unconscious bundled tightly together with robe. An apple shoved in both of there mouths for good measure.

Naruto clapped his hands vertically.

"You've done good Naruto, you've done good." He praised to himself.

The blonde-Nin slunk still for a moment, trying to remember something.

"Almost forgot. It wouldn't do good if you could remember this occurrence. Would it?" He spoke to the knocked-out guards.

Naruto stuck out two fingers on both hand. The tips of each finger glowed ocean blue. **"Suiton: Chi-Dorobou (Water release: Wisdom-thief)!" **Naruto called out and placed two fingers on each of the Anbu's heads, after he removed there masks.

As Naruto touched the twos foreheads, a liquid substance was drawn out from the victims heads. Naruto cupped these strange fluids….and drank them. "Better safe then sorry."

That done, Naruto continued on his trek to the Hokage's office. Naruto opened the door to the Hokage tower, and stepped inside.

"Grand… more Anbu," Naruto pouted.

The entire building was crawling with them. There were at least five walking up and down the single in inverse pairs at any given time. With one on the roof and the others on the walls, meaning nothing gets in directly unnoticed.

Naruto sighed disappointed. "So much that… not like I can become invisible, ah fuck it. I'm going for it!" Naruto exclaimed mentally, and performed a discrete genjutsu over himself.

Imagine Naruto's surprise when he made it past the guards unnoticed into the Hokage's den!

"And people say my genjutsu suck," Naruto grinned.

Naruto let the genjutsu dropped in the presence of an aged man. He looked around seventy or so. In his mouth was a wizen pipe. It looked over-used -yet taken care of. The elder raised his head to Naruto and then an eyebrow at the man that had stuck into his office unnoticed.

Hiruzen Sarutobi was many things. Some say he was gullible, others say he was to kind. But they all agreed on one thing. Even at the age of seventy, he was more than fully capable of fending for himself against the fresh meat.

"Can I help you?" Sarutobi asked the blonde calmly. Like having random people he didn't seem to recognize so well pop into his office was a usual thing.

Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"Honestly I didn't think I would get this far."

Sarutobi took a puff from his.

"Can I help you?" He repeated.

Naruto cleared his throat, "Um, yea. Are you the Hokage?"

Sarutobi paused for a moment and snuck a hand under his desk. Once there the hand pressed one of three silent alarm buttons- to alert all the Anbu that there was an uninvited guest in his chambers. But to stay outside until the other two buttons ha been pressed.

It was precautionary.

Hiruzen nodded his head to solidify Naruto's question.

"Okay, here's the thing. I'm looking for a place to stay. And the ramen stand person down the street said you offered free board for new civilians. Does that still hold true?"

Sarutobi took another puff. "Aye, it does. However, your dwelling won't be the most hospitable. You'll need to stay in Konoha's projects. The other residences are for financially secure denizens."

Naruto nodded.

"So could you set that up for me?" He asked, a bit unsure.

Sarutobi pondered for a moment and glared icily at Naruto.

"You look familiar. Whats you name son?"

"Naruto, Namikaze Naruto Hokage-sama," Naruto said confidently.

Sarutobi let the pipe fall from his lips, "come again?"

"Namikaze Naruto Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi gave Naruto a hard look. Would you mind submitting to a blood test Naruto-san?"

Naruto tilted his head to the side. "I suppose, if that gets my free board."

(One hour later)

Sarutobi walked up to Naruto beaming.

"Welcoming to Konoha Naruto-kun!"

Naruto looked at his slightly perturbed at the new formality. But accepted it graciously nonetheless.

"So do I get my free board or what?" Naruto asked.

Sarutobi was glowing, a relative to his successor. Alive! _Little_ Naruto would be so happy. Lord knows the poor boy needs a family. And this aged look alike would do the ticket!

"Indeed you do my boy, indeed you do!"

Sarutobi signed the needed paper work for the elder Naruto to get his things together. It would be better not to rush into his inheritance this soon. At least not until he had further verification, no it was too soon for that.

Naruto replied to the leaders' exuberance with a small grin and happily accepted the keys to his new apartment. That said, Naruto began to head for the door when Sarutobi called him back.

"Naruto-kun, tell me. Do you have any skills?" Sarutobi asked.

"Define skills Hokage-sama?"

"Enough of that Hokage-sama Naruto-kun." Sarutobi said good naturally, "You're making me feel older that I am!" The old man chuckled. "Call me Hiruzen."

"Sure-sure, Hiruzen gotcha. But what kind of skills of you referring to?"

"Do you have any abilities? Any past work experience?"

"I've had some ninja training," Naruto meticulously lied.

"And what would you say you current skill level is at?" Sarutobi asked knowingly. He had spied in on Naruto's little performance with his Anbu earlier today. Now let's see how modest the boy was.

"High Chunnin... maybe?" Naruto said, trying to make himself as small as possible.

"Chunnin," Sarutobi grumbled none to pleased. He was looking forward to having a new Jounin instructor…

"Have you any past village records Naruto?" Sarutobi asked.

"Not really…" Naruto replied.

Sarutobi smiled.

"Then I'm afraid I'll need to make you Genin…" Sarutobi coated, hoping to draw him out of his shell.

"A Genin! But I'm 23 Years old!" Naruto whined.

Sarutobi's grinned increased. The I'll suppose genjutsu will be your friend for a while. Won't it? Besides, there are plenty of _honorable_ ninja in our village that never make it past Genin. I believe our oldest Genin is pushing forty now," Sarutobi said brushing his chin.

"Wait! I never agreed that I would become a ninja!"

Sarutobi frowned a bit, then. Crocodile tears they were.

"Quite right, well you would have made a fine addition to our roster… anyway you need to sign this form before I can release the apartment to you." Sarutobi said clicking a pen.

Naruto accepted the pen and wrote down his signature.

"Done?" Sarutobi asked. Naruto nodded. "Then welcome to Konoha Naruto! You're now officially a Genin of Konohagure!"

Naruto spluttered. "When the hell did that happen!"

Sarutobi grinned and clicked his pen. Naruto took in that significance and reached for the paper he just signed. But Sarutobi was quicker and seized it from his reach.

"Can't have you ripping this up Naruto-kun," Sarutobi smiled mischievously.

"Hiruzen you tricky bastard…"

**--------RMS---------**

**Here's the 5k chapter I promised!**

_**--**_

_Dosha_ -means earth and sand.

**--**

**Some points:**

**Why did Naruto try to kill Hiroshima? **

**- He was in a red chakra induced trance; stitch it together yourselves from there.**

**The strength of a Beatle? Why not a tiger or dragon?**

**-Speaking realistically the rhinoceros beetle is the strongest land animal in the world **_**relative to mass.**_** Moreover, seeing the possibilities in conjuring this into my story, I went for it. It's original and has promise.**

**The Dosha/**_**Gara,**_** chat? - All part of the slowly incoming plot.**

_**When will Naruto learn **__**to read a paper before signing it? **_

_**- I laugh at that.**_

**--**

**This chapter came to me fairly- easily. So what did you think**_**? **_**Did you enjoy that little foreshadowed teaser? I was tempted to put in a lemon….but I will hold off on that. **

**Anyhow, ****the winner of the Teen poll is….**

**Nii Yuugito, with a slammin'10-votes!**

**Thanks for Voting! Don't forget to leave review on the way out. The button is my friend and wants to be yours as well!**


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